26 and never had a boyfriend

by Hypatia
(PA)

I am a 26-year old female who has never had a boyfriend. I think I'm a pretty interesting and unique person overall. I'm reasonably attractive (have modeled professionally- 5'8/125 pounds), have a career primarily as a musician and occasional indie news writer and also environmental consultant, am not obnoxiously extroverted but comfortably outgoing. I more want to get a chance to try being in a relationship than any fear of not ever meeting "the one" that I see a lot of other people have, will try anything once, ya know? I'd love to take the easy way out and say I'm picky, but the truth is that no one has ever indicated interest in me other than men much older than me (e.g. my father's age) who are either married (and just looking for sex) or recently divorced, or lesbian or bisexual women. I wouldn't rule out an older man but the sort of situations I've encountered aren't what I want. I have no idea what is behind the women hitting on me, although it seems to happen with some frequency.


I really am at a loss for something I perceive to be statistically improbable here. My friends don't get it, and when I tell this fact to others for the first time, they usually are shocked. I am a rather liberal and rational person so I can't say that I have a whole lot of limitations other than a certain level of intelligence and empathy that I look for. I've liked tall guys, short guys, class clowns, painfully shy bookworms, men of lots of different ethnic/social backgrounds, you name it.

I definitely have taken the initiative in trying to start relationships, be it asking guys on dates, telling them my feelings, or even planting the odd kiss. Men just never seem to want to get involved with me that way—either saying that they think of me as just a friend, or I'm not their "type". I've tried several dating sites and nothing has worked out.

I've asked friends to set me up but usually they can't think of anyone, or they tell me I'm better off single. A couple of times they did set me up with someone, and in all of the cases the guy was not interested in a romantic relationship. Most of my friends at this time are guys (colleagues from work as a musician). This whole thing isn't a huge deal in the daily course of my life, but it is something that I think needs to be addressed, and I'd really like some ideas on why this may be.

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