A broken prayer

by Karyssa
(Ontario )

This was my very first form of heartbreak (the story)

I prayed to God that she would tell him... It was my fault he and I ended up like this.

I liked him so... Every time I read in a magazine, it said we were perfect for each other... I know you shouldn't believe EVERYTHING you see in a magazine, but even my friends thought we were perfect for each other. I'm a Christian, and I really wanted to let my crush know I liked him, but I was to worried at his reaction... So, I kept praying to God that my best friend would tell him for me but at the right time. However, she got restless with my secret just lying there in her mind.... I could tell she really wanted to tell him, but I had wanted to wait until grade 8. So, she ended up not waiting for me to give the signal for her to tell him.

One day my crush got his head smashed into a brick wall by a guy who he had annoyed, he usually ends up annoying people a lot, but this time it was way worse. So, 2 days after he had gotten hurt, I was with my best friend and when we were walking past his house I had done the stupidest thing ever... I went over to his house to check to see if he was ok, and the conversation ended up with my "best friend" covering my ears, and mouthing "(my name) likes you...". It was the most embarrassing thing ever! My so-called best friend practically ruined my life! I felt VERY strongly for my crush, and we were just starting to become friends ( I was so excited for that!), and when she went and did that... well... My crush thought it awkward to hang out with me, so we got distant and started to avoid each other. I was left heartbroken because I realized he felt absolutely nothing for me. I had found that out earlier, but I had not believed it. At the 2end grade 7 dance (about 3 months before the incident), I asked my crush to dance, and this is exactly what he said,: "ehrr... *puts his left and right hand together then tilts his connected hands/arms to the right* kinda..." Me: I-its okay... *tears started to silently fall from my cheek* ... you don't have to..." Then I started to walk back to the tables, but then my crush said "Well... I would, but... I'm kinda busy right now...". My crush wasn't doing anything at that moment, so I knew it was just an excuse to not dance with me, but the thing that lead me to believe that I may have had a chance with him in the future was because he said "kinda..." . Also, after the dance he tried to talk to me with this really... I don't know... desperate voice. So, when he 'silently' rejected me, it hurt so much because I actually BELIEVED that I had even a 1% chance with him.

In the end overall it was my fault. I had not specified my prayer enough, and I had wished for my best friend to tell him. However, ever since that incident, I have always been praying that my crush (yes, I still like him), and I will be best friends. Furthermore, never want to fall in 'love'Or at least the 'love' that I fell in. If you do, you'll end up like me.Broken hearted.