A love that can never be returned

by Mina
(San Diego)

Can really a bad girl fall in love with a good boy? Well, it could happen to most teenagers. A girl that go by Mina is a very bad girl. She does things that are normally what typical teenager wouldn't do. But one day, a day that she never expected to come has come and it is right in front of her face. She is afraid to love again, afraid as no one will catch her when she falls but she let it happen, she let it come to her life. She is trying to look tough, so that no one would love her and that she would not love someone but deep inside, she's very sad for the past that she's trapped and couldn't move on even if she wants to, the hatred in her heart is overflowing but her love for him is fighting this hate but she refuses this love, she doesn't want to fall in love ever again because of the pain and suffering she's been through, it's killing her ever since she loved her ex. She's a failure for stopping her uncontrollable feelings. That one day, a boy that goes by K met her and everything changed in her life. She thought she can stop her feelings but she can not bear this feelings. It's unpredictable, it's uncontrollable, it's unbearable, it's unconditional and it is unexpected but, that's love. They started talking and talking but for some reason they stopped, it's heartbreaking but after 2 years, they start talking again. When school starts, she did not know whose she sitting next to but when that time came, it is him! It was like a feeling that got locked up inside her heart waiting for him to find the key and open her heart. She's been hoping for him to do that but scared to know his answer... As she found out who he likes.it wasn't her, it was one of her closest friends. She started to lose hope and because of that, she started ruining her life, tearing it into pieces so that nothing will be left and take that piece to let it grow and fall in love. One day, she texted him:

M: why wouldn't you like me? Be honest.
K: well it is because you are too hard for me.
M: oh...i see (-inside her mind- WHY CAN'T HE SEE MY TRUE SELF EVEN THOUGH IM TRYING TO HIDE IT FOR YEARS NOW?! I thought he's the one who'll try to open me and change me but i guess he's not the one)
K: yeah..
M: well then goodbye now(: (-trying to fake a smile-)
K: goodbye.

The next day, she had a dream about him and because of that dream, she said to herself "I'll get hurt first before i give up on loving him!"

She can't believe that she is going to take the pain and suffering again just to prove him that she's not hard to love that it is worth his time to love her...
But she knows that her love can never be returned ...

-true story

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