A Twist in My Story .

by Totes
(Oregon)

People said I was too young to be in love. I sometimes wonder if maybe they were just too old to remember what it feels like, to feel that way about someone. At any rate, I knew that there was no one else for me, no one but Him.
We were good together, anyone could see it. We fought constantly, but I think it balanced us out. When we were happy together, though, it was magical. We were on top of the world, in all its glorious passion. I had never felt so comfortable with anyone else, never felt so perfectly at ease. I could be myself completely, without a doubt. It didn't matter to him, he was himself as well.
I started to lose faith in us, however. That's where are problems really started. I began to think too much, and forgot to feel. It was both of our faults that it ended, he didn't fight for me, and I wanted to much from him.
I guess you could say I ended it, but not by choice. I tried to talk to him about taking a break, and he decided that a "break" meant....well, forever. It's hard sometimes. I fell into a slump that I am only now starting to recover from. People say that it doesn't last forever, that the pain goes away. But I hope it doesn't. I hope I feel it everyday, for the rest of my life, to remind me of the mistakes Ive made, and to help me not make them in the future. Do I regret what happened? I wish we were still together, and I miss him like crazy. I long for the life I used to live, but I wouldn't take back what happened, at the same time, because it taught me valuable lessons in my life. Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes good things fall apart for the right reasons.
People also say that I will find someone else, but I'm not so sure about that one. He was my shooting star, my point of light. He made me want to improve, to succeed. He fed my soul and challenged me in ways no one ever has. If there is someone out there made for me, if there really is such a thing as a soul mate, then I think there is only one out there. And I think I found him, that evening in April, so long ago. And I've lost him, now. So I think they're wrong, I won't ever find someone who made me feel like he did. I'll never love like i loved him. I don't know if i want to settle for less, but I do know that I can be happy on my own, too. I've found my strength and I'm going to live every day for me, the right way. I learned many things from Him, but the most important was that life is both beautiful and tragic, and you have to learn to accept one to really truly enjoy the other. I cherish the memories and time I got with him, and for now, that is enough.