Am i in love or not...?

by Shadow
(Oxford)

I have been going out with this kid who I have known for 7 years. We've been dating for 2 months now. He's younger than me. I'm 17, he's 15, sometimes he acts his age. He flirts with other girls in front of me all the time. I'm still a virgin and he's not... and sometimes he makes me feel pressured to do "stuff" and I'm thinking if i don't, he might want another girl, but then again he tells me he loves me all the time and we agreed if we broke up we would always be friends. I don't know what to do. Please help.

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Mar 30, 2009
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He NEEDS to Grow Up
by: Spiritually-Minded

You're 17. Stop letting him manipulate your feelings and disrespect you. You have no reason to feel uncomfortable in any relationship nor should you feel pressured to do anything. Tell him to stop being a jerk.

He says he loves you and he should be loyal to your feelings. You will be going to college soon and there will be guys coming at you by the dozen. You need to be able to tell them what you need, want, and expect from a guy who wants to date you.

Take back your authority, girl, you have all the power you need inside of you. The only person you can control in the world is you, so put your foot down, tell him to shape up, or ship out. DON'T COMPROMISE! You may find yourself doing it more and more.

Be loyal to yourself because people will come and go. Those who want to be in your life will be there no matter how many disagreements you may have. Stand up for you.

Mar 28, 2009
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Puppy Love
by: Voice of Experience

Seriously? First of all...at 17, it's puppy love. Your heart has not had the "life experience" it needs to develop and learn the meaning of love. I was a teenager once and almost every guy I went out with, I thought I loved and did in a minor sort of way. And every guy said they loved me because that's what they do to get you to do what they want.

Usually, once you have sex with them, they're gone or they gradually slack off on the relationship. DO NOT LET ANYONE pressure you in to doing something you aren't certain you are ready for. Personally....I started way too young and it was just a thing to do.

But when you fall in love, you don't have to question if you are or not. You know. And sex with the right person is an experience you will savor all of your life. It is a physical, mental & spiritual experience. If you don't have all 3 of those elements, then forget it.

I got married at 16, divorced at 21 and didn't fall in love "truly" til I was 25. Life experience is the key. It's all right to date and have loving relationships at your age....just know that you have more to learn and experience before you give yourself completely to someone.

If he truly loved you like he says, then he wouldn't be flirting with other girls. When a guy is truly in love, you know it and there is nothing he would do in public or private to hurt you or make you feel insecure.

My husband has NEVER done or said anything that would make me not trust him. We have 100% trust and honesty. I just don't see how you can have that when you are as young as you guys are.

If you are not ready for the physical, then don't. If you feel pressured and awkward in anyway, run. Know and hold to what you want....not what the guy wants. Because when it's real, it's mutual. And you will just know it. Good luck and may you find your true love in life.

Mar 28, 2009
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Time
by: Anonymous

Well if you've known him 7 years that means you guys met when u were 10. First, you shouldn't let anyone pressure you into sex. Sex is major and it changes your life forever especially when it's done before it's time and with the wrong person.

You know all about pregnancy and disease but most of all God created sex between only man and wife because when done outside of marriage, it's pain. Not as physical pain but scars that can be left if that guy does not stay with you after you give him your virginity. That can lead to you trying to find love to fill the hurt from the boy that left or what if he falls in love with someone else after you give your precious virginity away? It will be gone and you can't get it back.

You have time and if he cannot wait or is trying to pressure you into something you don't want to do he really doesnt love you, he trying to manipulate you.

Wait, please. You can look around the world and see thousands of people that didn't wait, people that had to get married because of pregnancy and are miserable or are cheating, sexual transmitted dieases, HIVm the rate starts with the young because they think they invincible. Just wait for real love. Song of Songs 8:9

Mar 28, 2009
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do an introspection
by: ZANELE.SOMANCO

Do you love this kid? Get a pen and paper write everything you love about him and everything he has done for you that has made you smile! Then on the back, write everything you don't like about him and everyting that he has done that made you angry. When done, check which page has the most things. If it's on the back, MOVE ON, HE ISN'T WORTH IT, but if it's on the front GIVE LOVE ANOTHER CHANCE. FIX THINGS UP.

Mar 28, 2009
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Move on
by: Anonymous

Don't fall into peer pressure. He wants to be loved from someone unconditionally. He knows that he can be loved by you. In a way he is using you. The best thing though you may love him is to end it and be friends. Don't depend on him, so I suggest not being best friends. Soon you will be done with high school and moving on. Let your self move on.

Mar 28, 2009
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do what is best for you!
by: peyton.grey

I have been in your position so many times! He sounds like he is with you because he needs to be loved and he knows you will give the love, but then once he knows he can get the love, he wants to try to get it from other girls. Make sense?

Most 15 year old guys are not worth stressing over. That's really sweet of him that he wants to stay friends and everything. I think you need to have a DTR (define the relationship), confront him, and let him know you're not okay with him flirting, or him pressuring you into things. Relationships all depend on the truth and such.

He sounds incredibly sweet but is also making you a bit miserable because he flirts in front of you. And you aren't okay with that.. and I think guys need to know how you feel, otherwise he will think he isn't doing anything wrong.. so talk to him :)

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