Beautiful Suicide

by Hayden
(Cardiff)

She sits by the window,

staring at the sky,
picturing her beautiful suicide,
a nicely loaded gun,
carved a bullet with your name,
pull the trigger, and just aim.
A nicely hung rope,
hung from her favorite tree,
for which she will be a part of
for all eternity.
a nicely sharpened razor,
sitting lovely upon her desk,
ready to be used one last time,
to put her miseries to rest.
Another beautiful suicide,
for this one she would prefer,
climb through the woods,
up to the top, walk to the edge,
and just fall off...
I'm just her replacement
maybe a little less crazy
but im just a fill-in
never even tried to live up to the hype
you never even tried to love me
all the bloody hands on my walls
they scream your name
they scream your name
the fast food stench
and "no shower" sign
they all scream for you
the stars, the moon
the alcohol
they all scream your name
and yet another broken heart
that's your favorite game
reading what she wrote
brought back memories
you pulled all the same shit with her
that you did to me
I hate the thought
I won't accept it
all the bloody hands on my walls
they scream your name
they scream your name
the fast food stench
and "no shower" sign
they all scream for you
Don't want the headache
don't want the pain
away with the paranoia
that's the way to stay sane
I'm so tired of thinking of you
so very tired of wanting you
I never wanted to want you
I never meant to need you
now you say I'm your best friend
never predicted this one
I don't know if I’m the right person
must have gotten me mixed up with her again
you don't care about me
but that's the way you like it
all the bloody hands on my walls
they scream your name
they scream your name
the fast food stench
and "no shower" sign
they all scream for you
the stars the moon
the alcohol
they all scream your name
and yet another broken heart
that's your favorite game
before I fall asleep at night
my first thought is him
my last is you

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