Best and worst year of my life
My husband and I have been married 8 1/2 years. This past summer turned into the worst time in my entire life. Let me start at where I think everything begins. He works on a farm, long hours in the summer where he is out in fields cutting hay... usually alone.
Around the end of July 2013, a girl came riding up on a horse where Dave was cutting hay. At least that's the story that I was told. I don't believe that part I think that our friend set him up so he would have someone to go out with. But anyway, She was 25, no kids, no worries, and carefree. Everything that I used to be. They started off as friends, but as the summer went on Dave pulled away a lot. She started lieing to me A LOT. I was at the point I couldn't believe anything he was telling me. It all hit the fan on Labor Day weekend. He was pissed because I made plans for our family to go camping for the weekend. He didn't want to be there. he checked his phone all the time and when I saw a girls name come over the caller Id he told me it was someone from work. I knew it wasn't on a holiday weekend. But I let it go because we were with ointo a huge fight and I told him ur kids and I didn't want to ruin their time. The next day when we got home he wanted to leave to "go work" no one gets that upset when you ask them to not go to work... he left me hysterically crying alone with our daughter. I had to call my parents to drive an housr to help me. I honestly thought I was loosing my mind. Dave kept telling me that I was crazy and making all this up. But I am not stupid. I am very smart and can find anything out that I need to. He came home later that night and I gave in again. I wanted to believe that I was crazy and that he would never do this to me.
About 2 weeks later after things had gotten so bad that I had to leave to my moms house I finally found everything out. He in fact did have a "girlfriend" I like to refer to her as the home wrecking whore. She was 25, single, no worries, made hime feel special, and she had my husband. Did I mention that I at this point knew everything about this WWH. I mean down to her parents names. I even had pictures of the 2 of them together. (still don't know how those were taken, but someone must care for me. it took everything I had not to beat the SH*$ out of her. But I am more classy then that. I was going to be better then her. I was not going to be that wife.
I confronted Him and he denied everything. I started saying things that he knew that o wouldn't have known unless I was there. we got into a huge fight and he told me he wanted a divorce. He had chosen her over me and our kids. he forced me to move the kids and I out of our home. Now I know its because he was so ashamed of himself that he didn't want to hurt me anymore so he pushed me as far as he could thinking that I was gonna just walk away. In my eyes you don't walk away from a marriage. that is the easy way out and I wasn't ready for the easy way out. We set up arrangements for visitation with the kids and money issues. we ere done!!!
A week went by and it was his birthday. The kids celebrated with him, I wasn't allowd. he had told me that he was going to a work conference up north for the long weekend, which is believable because they do have them. But about 2 months later I found out there was no conference. He spent his bday with whe whore. He was suppose to be home around noon to hang out with the kids and to talk to me and see how everything was going. He showed up at 5:00pm.
His Dad had been helping us to fix our issues. I told him over and over all I want is to come home and have my husband. He told me that I was the only girl that he ever wanted to kiss, make love to and spend the rest of his life with. I moved back home Sunday. After I had packed me and the kids up again. I get home and he sent me a text "I can't do this" "You can't stay". my thought was like hell... I am not leaving!!! You are!!! We sat up all night talking, him crying (I now know why)
I was scheduled for surgery about 2 weeks later. He agreed to help me and be there for me. I could still feel that something wasn't right. Always go with your gut feeling. He was still talking to her.
He swears the last time saw he was right before my surgery. The last time he talked or texted her.... I have no idea. He swears that he know he made a mistake and he will never do it again. He swears that he loves me and only me. He has been home all the time. He doen't walk outside to talk on the phone and overall I really do believe him...
I knew that if you are reading this you either are going thru a similar story or have been. No matter what you choose to do you have to do what make sense for you. For me it was to try and fix my marriage. Dave was broken and he was looking for someone to help him fix himself,. I was so wrapped up in our kids, work, and our home that I failed to see him breaking. No I am not saying that his affair was my fault, he is a grown man he made that choice. But what I am saying is His affair has been the wrost and best experience in my life. I now know how truly strong I am, what I an capable of, and what I deserve as a wife. I won't take him for granted again. and I know he feels the same way.
I know that the pain will take a long time to go away, but I am not looking at myself like a victim. I am looking like a survivor. I have decided to not ever say anything to homewrecker. I don't think she deserves my breath or my thoughts. I won this battle and will continue to work so hard to have a marriage that people are jealous of.