Big Time Cheater

by Rochester

I have been in a relationship for 10 years. I started dating my partner in high school. I'll be 27 in April. Our relationship was great at first. I got pregnant and gave birth to his first child when I was 19 years old. We moved in together when I was 21 (we are currently still together). On August 15th of 2006, I started getting calls from his "girlfriends." When I asked him about it, he denied it (of course). On August 30th of the same year, one of the girls called and told me he had other children. On that same day, he called me at work and told me he wanted to talk to me about something. When I got home, he confessed that he had 4 other children by 4 different mothers. I am sure you all can understand how I felt. I cried for days, weeks, months. He begged me not to leave him ... he cried.

I actually forgave him and took him back. Since that time we have not had any issues about him cheating. I am not saying he isn't ... our agreement was if he cheats again, I should end the relationship no questions asked.

The moral is even though I have forgiven him, I do not trust him. I want to, but it is so hard. Please give me some good advice.


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Dec 30, 2008
Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater
by: Anonymous

If you forgave him and accepted him back and you still have trust issues, then you should have not taken him back! I'm not one to believe you should stay with someone for the kids' sake or any other reason, just to hold the family together. That could be very unhealthy. Mental stress is not a good thing. My advice to you since you managed to give him another chance is to stay strong and to let go and let GOD!

Dec 30, 2008
Believe in Yourself
by: linda laviolette

No matter how hard it is when babies are involved; you must move on, the same as the rest of his girlfriends. This man is selfish and shall gain nothing in life other than someone to relieve his lust.

If you leave, you will survive and be much stronger and more spiritual for you and your child!

Take care and good luck.

Dec 30, 2008
Cheating Husband
by: Mizunderstood

Ms Rochester,

I don't fault you for keeping your family together but recognize that this guy is no longer just yours. You now share him with 4 other women and households due to children being involved.

I know that West Indian culture and most African cultures follow the 1 wife and other women relationship model and as a mother you must support home first. My mom always says and I hate the saying, but its true, "Once a cheater always a cheater." Maybe some people do change, but it is rare.

Just make sure you are happy ... that's the most important thing. If you can't trust him, then you are on a one way road to unhappiness, not to mention the fact that he could bring an STD into your home.

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