Boy Who Stole My Heart
(thousand oaks CA)
Boy Who Stole My Heart
"If you trip over love you can always get back up. If you fall in love you fall forever."
Side by side we stood, our eyes met like the sunset meets the peaks of the mountain at the horizon. Our hearts beat in unison. I felt nauseous, like my nerves were eating me up inside; my hands clammy. I had to tell him something but I didn't know how.
So I just took one deep breath which broke the silence between us like an 800 pound polar bear breaks the ice. "I love you," I said nervously.
I waited for an answer or a comment but I could see it in his face that he was clueless as to what to say or what to do. He looked up with a red face and walked away.
I stood there in a crowd but I couldn't hear a thing. I could see mouths moving but they were on mute. All I could hear was my heart beating. I watched as he slowly vanished into the distance.
I wanted to go after him but it felt as if my feet were super-glued to the floor and I couldn't feel my heart. I didn't know what to feel. I had a thousand thoughts running through my head. I felt like crying. My eyes got red and puffy, watery, and I started to sniffle, but I held them in.
I had just said "I love you" to my best friend of three years whom I liked and LOVED dearly. I didn't know what had just happened. I didn't expect him to say it back but I had to tell him how I felt. If I didn't, my bottled-up feelings would explode like a bomb during World War One.
I liked him so much that whenever I saw him, I went numb and I couldn’t help but giggle. I was truly in love. I believed that I was lucky to be in love with someone as great as he is. We connected on a personal level. We liked each other, we spent every minute of every day together. We were so close we could be called one. We knew each other better than we knew ourselves. He was my other half, like the "cheese to my macaroni"(Juno).
I still keep wondering what I did wrong, what happened, why did it happen like this, where did we go wrong? A lot of people told me I was too young to know what love is, but I don't think there is an age for when you're suppose to fall in love.
Albert Einstein said, "You can't blame gravity for falling in love." When you fall you fall hard, it isn't easy to get up. Most people don't know what I felt, it's a feeling that you can't explain. Love is a beautiful thing but it is a very complicated matter and you can't help falling in love, it just happens.
Love can also hurt if you get heartbroken like I did.
That afternoon, I went home shocked and so confused. I texted him, "Hey what's up?" I said. He didn’t reply. It was 5:00 pm and still no answer. I stayed optimistic. I was thinking maybe his phone was off, but maybe he had a bad signal or maybe his phone was dead. I didn’t look in to it too much. I thought everything was fine, he just needed time to take in what I had said.
I got ready for bed and before I slept I sent him one last text, "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite."
When I woke up the next morning I anxiously grabbed my phone to check for my every day, "Good Morning Sunshine" text that he always sent at 7:45 sharp. There was nothing there so I quickly got dressed, ate, and brushed my teeth. Faster than you could say go, I was out that door. When I got there he wasn’t waiting for me in our usual spot. "Hmmm, how strange I thought. Maybe he is absent."
I walked on over to my English class. The atmosphere of the class was unpleasing like usual and I never really did learn anything that year. The teacher was horrible, mean and sluggish. The class was small and he sat there, the big hawk watching us his prey. I walked in and greeted him very politely as always, even though I hated him with a burning passion. He said hi with a harsh tone to his voice and hard stone eyes. He followed me with his eyes as I walked on over to my friend.
I greeted him with a "Hey did you get my text?" He didn’t reply. I stood there for a second and thought that’s rude and I walked away. That period was hell, it seemed like it would never end, I kept eyeing him but he never once looked up.
Summer came and we still hadn’t talked. I would occasionally text him, apologizing for what I said but why should I be sorry for falling in love? After all those text there was never a response.
I finally gave up after almost three months of crying myself to sleep thinking about him and how our friendship could never go back to how it was. Summer ended and school began. It is hard for me to look at him walking past me every day. I would try to say hi but my mouth won’t open.
We are now two strangers living in a strange world. Some say that people who are in your past now weren’t meant to make it into your future. I guess that’s how life works and nothing that you do will change the past. It is what it is, you have to live life day by day, forget the past and think about the future.
I know it’s hard to do but you can't live in the past. It has now been ten months that he hasn’t spoken to me. I will always remember him. My life is moving on like it’s suppose to, but it's my heart that is lagging behind. It is said that you don’t forget your first love, but in my case he didn't love me and that's ok. He is a special human being and was an amazing friend. In a couple of years, he will look back and I'll just be a bump in his life. But for me, he will always be the boy who stole my heart.10 Secrets About Men