Boyfriend is Best Friends with His Ex
To give you a little background on our relationship, I am 24 years old and he is 34. I live in NYC and he lives in LA. We have been together for 18 months. The last year or so he has spent considerable amount of time in Long Island (due to his work) and so we have spent a lot of time together.
My situation...he is best friends with all of his ex's and I am not happy about that. When we first started dating he was also seeing someone else, Katie and Gabrielle.
I told him that I wanted to be in a closed/exclusive relationship and so he cut it off with them. He still talks to them and hangs out with them on occasion...dinner, movies, going to the beach. They hang out about 3-4 times a month.
He also hangs out with his other ex's, Jennifer and Aimee who he has known for probably 6 years or so. He considers them to be his best friends.
Every time he flies back home and hangs out with them, my blood boils. It makes me so angry. I have expressed my concerns and feelings. I have told him that hanging out with ex's is very unsettling to me. He says they are JUST friends but to me I cannot see it that way.
They have had an intimate relationship with him...so to me I cannot see that being friends after that is ok. I have expressed my feeling on many occasions and each time it comes back with "I need to deal with it".
Just yesterday he hung out with Jennifer and one of her girlfriends. They asked him to come over to help them with their computer and then they were suppose to go out to dinner. Well then I find out that they also went to a movie. They spent over 9 hours together. I am livid.
Another thing that bothers me is that I found out that he tells Jennifer and Aimee "I love you". I asked him why he does this and he says that he loves them in a different way...as friends. I also found out that when he greets them, he kisses them on the lips. I told him that these things are not okay with me. He does not see the big deal. He says that they are just words and a kiss is just a greeting.
Yesterday before hanging out with Jennifer I told him "no kissing please" and he comes back to me with "Chill out. Trust me".
Is it wrong of me to feel this way? Should I be okay with the fact that he hangs out with his ex's?
When he goes back to stay in LA permanently, I don't if I will ever be ok with him hanging out with these girls. If it absolutely breaks my heart each time he hangs out with them is it worth it to me to stay in this relationship?
I see a future with him...I want spend my life with him...have children but definitely not at the expense of me having to feel this way. I am torn on whether or not I should end this relationship.
I feel like I have changed a lot of myself for him and yet I get nothing back in return. It's always "you have to deal with it" "you are insecure" "you don't understand because you are so young."
I part of me feels as though because it is because of his age he is set in his ways. He has been single this long for a reason. He is so set in his ways. It's his way or the highway and he is not willing to give up any part of this self for a relationship.
What do I do?? I am so confused.