Boyfriend Not Ready to Settle Down

by Ashley
(Shelbina, MO USA)

There is this guy I met like 8 months ago. We dated for a little bit but broke up (his choice), but after we broke up, we didn't talk for like 2 days, then it all went back to like we were dating again. We have been together everyday lived together for like 3 months.

I got pregnant by him, but unfortunately lost the baby. He says he loves me ... but more as a friend. He has said he wants to be with me, just not yet. We are together almost everyday. I love him with all my heart. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. Can you help me?

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Feb 27, 2009
I feel for ya...
by: Anonymous

I have been in this same situation also. My experience with most guys is that they will want to be with you until something better comes along. That doesn't mean you yourself are not something 'better'. You just aren't for this person. If someone is willing to let you go (break up with you) especially after you have been pregnant with their child, it means they are not willing to fight for you and if they haven't at this point, they probably won't.

You are not meant to be with this person and I so so so hope that you do not continue to stay and let him be there when it's convenient. Leave before it's to hard and you waste your life away. I wasted 6 years of mine on someone just like this and I am now 30 and alone. The longer you wait, there harder it will be. Please just go find someone who wants to be with you and will put as much in as you are willing to. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Feb 27, 2009
"Actions Speak Louder Than Words"
by: Penny

Most would say he's wrong, but I say you're not seeing what he's saying; stop talking and start watching him. You are hurting yourself, he told you that he only wants you for a friend, but you served yourself to him on a silver platter and he ate. Stop allowing yourself to be hurt, you are letting your emotions rule your mind. His actions and what he said is all you need to see that you need to move on because he never was with you and never will be. You are the one that want him in a way that he does not want you! I'm sorry to put it that way, but "You Asked".

Feb 27, 2009
by: Spiritually-Minded

Print what paving momma typed and read it aloud everyday. I was raised by my father and he taught me all the things that a man will do and should do for those he says that he loves. Love is an action word, should not be easily spoken, and when used some works(actions)should follow that prove it. Read the writing on the wall.

He is a loser for using you and playing with your emotions. Make sure that you tell him exactly what you want and then tell him to hit the road. You are the only one who knows what you want so stop compromising and settling. If he doesn't want to be with you now, don't leave yourself open to get pregnant again for a man and you are not his first choice. Recall the nursery rhyme about the two lovebirds in the tree. First comes LOVE, then comes MARRIAGE, then comes the BABY in the baby carriage.

Put what you want first and stop so considerate of him. What you should do is to stop seeing him and being his friend. Once you have told him what it is that you want then he should either step up and be that man or get out theway so that you can move on. MOVE ON!

Feb 27, 2009
Ready or Not?
by: paving momma

Believe what his ACTIONS are telling you.

1. ...dated for a little bit = getting to know you.
2. ...(broke up) his choice = you are not his ideal woman.
3. ...went back...lived together = sex is good, and his life is easier.
4. a friend = feels guilty because he got you pregnant, and you lost the baby.
5. Wants to be with me, just not yet = combination of doesn't hate you and his ego likes that you run after him.

The big question is why don't you think you deserve a guy who is as crazy about you as you are about him?
I base all this on the fact that I have two older brothers, a husband, two sons, and 12 guys who work for me, and all prefer to be the hunter and NOT the hunted.
See the guy for what he is, and that is someone who is not working to get YOU. You deserve to be more than someone's "routine."

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