Boyfriend Runs My Life

by Melissa
(New Jersey)

Boyfriend Runs My Life


I am a 29 year old female who has been with my boyfriend now for almost 2 years. I got laid off from my job and had to move back home. Ever since I moved back, my boyfriend thinks that I am changing. I do agree that I have been somewhat depressed and feel helpless that I don't have a job, but I am trying to find one every single day.

I have also been extremely bored and have been going out more with my friends. He doesn't think I should be. He plays poker every Monday and Friday and I can go out with my friends those days but according to him, I should stay in with him on Saturday nights. I told him I am not going to wait around for him to tell me if he is going to go out or not because I really can't let him run my life.

He doesn't like my friends at home, he thinks they are bad influences and I disagree. I love to go out on the weekends and he really doesn't. I don't know if I am wasting my time in this relationship or what I am really doing. He feel that I should be checking in if I do go out. I feel like my boyfriend runs my life.

He always blames me for everything. I feel he puts me down and I am always trying to defend myself. He thinks I shouldn't do that and should just accept fault and apologize. I also think that he doesn't like me sticking up for myself. I feel he wants a girl who will agree with him always and do what he wants always and I am totally not that type of girl.

He is younger than I am by 3 years, has no job, and is living at home as well. I just don't know what to do anymore. Advice please. I feel helpless.

How to know if someone is right for you

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Mar 14, 2010
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comments for: Boyfriend Runs My Life
by: Holly

I know that when people give their opinion (on what you should do), they don't always stop and think if what they're advising you to do, is "easier said than done." It's easy for us to tell you what we think you should do, however, we're not the one who is in the relationship.

With that in mind, I'm going to look at this from your point of view. I know that there's comfort in having a relationship, however, you need to write down the pros and cons. If there's more pros than cons: stay with him. If the cons out-weigh the pros, you need to part ways.

Having said that, I can honestly say that it sounds like he's causing you more grief, than happiness.

Remember we teach people how to treat us. Make him, (whoever he is,) treat you right, from the beginning!. A healthy relationship is based on love, trust, and respect, NOT CONTROL!

Not only does he not trust you, he's trying to control you. Based on those things, I believe that God has someone else for you -- a man that will make you happy, trust you, and respect you.

Just remember, you have to hold people accountable to those standards. Don't settle for anything less.

Best of luck to you! Don't forget to pray -- God wants His children to be happy -- He will give you all of the guidance that you need. Love, ~Holly~

Mar 12, 2010
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Run You Out of His Life
by: Penny

Yes, you do know what to do; do as you feel/please. Personally, the word "control" turns me off.

There are times in a relationship when two people have to compromise, never does one or the other always get his/her way or what he/she wants.

When we compromise, it is a settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions; set aside what we want for the sake of the other person because we love him/her or want the relationship to work. It takes two people who want the relationship to work.

Trying to control or running the other person's life will chase him/her away!

Communication and trust are very important keys in a relationship and without them it won't work!

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