Broken Friendship

by Tony
(Washington, DC)

Not sure what to do.

My ex-girlfriend and I dated for 7 years and we broke up 3 years ago. During our relationship, she developed close ties with most of my friends.

When our relationship ended, one of my closest friends continued speaking with her and was occasionally spotted in public with her. From a third party, I found out that their friendship turned into something more than platonic friends.

I confronted both of them and they denied that anything sexual had happened. I had a gut feeling that they were lying, so I stopped communicating with both of them.

After 9 months passed, I continually wondered what really happened, so I decided to confront my friend one more time. He finally admitted that he and my ex had sex and they had a short relationship. He apologized and said that he would do whatever it takes to make it up to me.

I have been friends with him for 18 years and would hate to throw away a great friendship, but I still feel betrayed and angry but willing to forgive him. I am more angry at the fact that he lied to me and hid the truth from me and that I had to force the truth out of him.

As for my ex, I am over her and won't talk to her ever again. I guess what I am trying to figure out is - should I allow my friend back into my life with ease?

How do we mend a broken friendship where he has lied and hidden the truth? And is it even appropriate that they continued to be friends after I broke up with my girlfriend? Am I out of line for expecting my ex to cease being friends with my friends?