Broken-hearted

by Karli Birtch
(ontario Canada)

I met this guy and I really had it bad for him. We talked 24/7, on some occasions, we fell asleep on the phone and even webcam. We had both got grounded countless times for being up too late.

Then one night I told him that I liked him more then a friend and he said he felt the same way. I was so happy but I decided not to rush into things and just talk for a few more days before I asked him out.

A few days went by along with a few more groundings and I finally asked him out. He told me maybe. I knew this was better then no so I took it and let him think about it for another week.

Then after a week, he asked me what he was to me and I told him he was the biggest crush in my life. Then he told me that he was more then that. so right away, I thought he said yes, but I decided to play it cool and pretend I had no clue what he was talking about, so I asked him then what are you?

He told me that he was much much more than a crush. I said that I would never know this since he hadn't given me an answer. He said, I don't think you're gonna like this answer.

I felt my heart drop a little but then, it picked back up as be continued to write. I was praying he would just say I'd love his answer, not like it.

When he sent the message, my heart shattered into a million pieces. Tears started to fall from my eyes as I read what he wrote. His exact words were: "I'm sorry. I already have a girlfriend. That's why I never gave you an answer."

The worst part of all was this was the second time he'd been so close to being mine then hooked up with another girl. I just thought things would be different this time, but I was majorly wrong.

I've been up for 48 hours crying till i puke. I've had no sleep. I just can't get him off my mind. I don't know how he could have done this to me. He knew he was my everything. I thought he felt the same.

I have no clue what to do. Do I tell him how I feel? Do I ignore him and refuse to give him the time of day?

I need someone to talk to because he used to be the one I told everything to. I don't know why, but i still love him.

We talked about how we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I miss him and wanna talk to him but I have no clue what to say.