Caught My Partner on a Singles Site
by Kim
I've been with my partner for nearly five years. I found out a little while ago that he'd been regularly going on porn sites. We had this out as I found it very upsetting that it was behind my back (not that he was doing it) also that he was on a webcam site and telling all the women how beautiful they were etc, pretty much what he would say to me. We have talked this through and I was feeling a little better as he was being open with me. Unfortunately, to my shock and great upset when I logged on the computer a week ago I found he'd been on a dating site, had a profile set up, with pictures, which said he was looking for fun. He stupidly hadn't logged out so I could see all messages sent, etc. I phoned him as he had just left to work away. He tried to deny it, saying it was something he did ages ago and hasn't been on one since. I corrected him saying he'd been on over the weekend. He went very quiet, I got upset and put the phone down. He sent me a message later to say he was sorry. He loved me and only me, just went on there to see how much attention he got as he didn't feel that attractive. Slightly annoying, as I always make a point of telling him how beautiful and gorgeous he is to me, as I don't think you should ever take your partner for granted. He denied sending any messages, which I corrected him on again, saying I know, just please be honest with me. He has changed his story a few times, from sending one message to a few on one given time, which I know is not completely true as he's been on a few times over the last week and sent 20 messages in total, 4 of them to the same person, finding out her interests etc. He still keeps saying he would never have met up with them, he just liked the attention. We have yet to meet up to talk face to face, as he didn't want to last weekend. Only said that I wouldn't listen to him, or what he would do to solve the problem (delete account!) He wants to meet this weekend, but I don't know what to say to him, he thinks deleting the site is enough, I think we need to work out why he was on there in the first place. So confused, I cannot be with him when I feel like this, need some advice as even if we don't sort this out, my three children see him as their dad, so I need to sort it one way or the other. It's not fair for things to be up in the air. They are in the end more important than either of us. Learn the skills that will help heal old wounds and renew your love. |