When I first went to high school, I dated three guys in the first year. The first one was a lot of fun, the second was my first love who I would do anything for, and the last was a very sweet guy who would do anything for me.
Now, I am a sophomore in high school and I am together with my third boyfriend from last year, but all I can think about is my first boyfriend, even though he makes me really upset sometimes. (I can never really be mad at him for real. He makes me really happy and I love being around him.) The guy I am with now is an awesome guy, but I don't know what to do.
I have tried to talk to my friends about it but none of them pay attention to the way I feel. Its really frustrating when they don't care because now I am really confused what to do. One friend who I talked to previously actually cared enough to help me. She told me that I am going to end up with my first boyfriend I ever had in high school, which is the boy that makes me really happy, but at the same, makes me angry.
It is really hard sometimes when you are caught between two people, and the worst thing about this is they are best friends which makes it even harder to decide what to do.
I know that making decisions is a part of life, but making this particular decision is going to be the hardest one I am going to have to make in all of my high school years. I know that this decision is going to make me grow up a little.
Sometimes when thinking about the fact that I am going to have to hurt someone makes me want to hurt myself as well and that's what scares me the most because I am not a person to think about hurting myself for any reason, but for some reason this is what it comes down to. In the end, I am not gonna hurt myself, but sometimes I feel like I have to if I am going to have to hurt someone else.
Seeing all my friends with their perfect lives and their perfect crushes or boyfriends make me wonder: why me? Why am I so messed up? Why can't I be like them? I hate it so much, but none of them understand at all. I just wish they would because I can't take being alone in this world, with no one to talk to, no one to understand what I am going through. In the end, I hope everything works out.How to find out if someone is right for you