Confusion, Despair, Love?

by Megan

There's this boy and i like him a lot. In 8th grade we were friends we had art together it was great i loved it. Back then i didn't like him i always thought "hey my first guy friend." or "maybe were supposed to be just friends." so i thought nothing of it.

Then this year came (9th grade). we had civics together and it was great! i liked him so much during the first trimester. We flirted and worked together as much as we could. So one day i decided to text him saying i liked him. (Yes i know lame over text) He told me he was flattered and all but that he liked me before but not as much anymore. What could i do now? i just told my best guy friend i liked him.. well after that we went back to being friends and everything was all good.

So second tri came and we had math class together. we didn't get to talk much because my best friend was in that class but i was too afraid to tell her how i felt about him. So me and her just talked but when she got distracted i would walk over to him and talk. We texted all the time. So towards the end i was supposed to stay after school with some kids in my civics class for a project but they canceled.

On my way to my locker i saw him and he asked me to stay after school with him. I said yes so we went to the computer lab. The whole time i was hoping for him to tell me how he really felt. We sat down and talked for awhile, while he did a project. i put my phone on the desk just to get it out of my pocket. He took it just joking around but promised not to do anything with it. With my phone still with him he went to a table and was talking to his friends. Sitting there all alone i was scared he was going to show them some embarrassing texts or something. As i listened nonchalantly to them talking i heard one say "is that his girlfriend?" I felt happy and sad at the same time knowing that, that may never be true. he came back and all was okay. the computer lab was closing so we had to leave. We walked around for a little bit going to my locker and stuff. The whole time i was thinking "this is the perfect time for him to tell me, were alone." Well i guess his mom wasn't coming for awhile and i was walking home so we found a spot to sit. Unfortunately that spot was by some of his friends. I was so bored i just wanted to leave. I tried talking to him a few times but it was like trying to communicate with a wall. So i gave up and called my friend. i talked to her for awhile. I tried to make him notice me by gently hitting his foot with mine. A little more responsive but not by much. Eventually his mom called and said he had to go. Trying to get out of there as fast as i could i practically ran out the doors. Before he left he thanked me for staying after with him but i was so mad i just kind of left. so about 2 or 3 days after that he told me he liked this one girl a lot this other girl a little and me kind of sort of. It made my heart soar! i told him i liked him back.

Well 3rd tri came and its like i don't exists in his world. He texts me "Morning" every week day morning but in school its seems to me that he has more important things to do than even say hi or acknowledge me. I wish i could find out whats going on with him. I just wanna yell and be like "Like me too. i want to be loved i want to be held I have feelings to you know." i keep thinking.... Will that ever happen between me and my crush who always seems to find a way to crush me? I guess only time will tell. He gives me so many mixed signals, I'm so confused, and angry, and broken hearted in ways. I just don't even know how i feel anymore. All i know is that if i don't text him at least once a day i go crazy. Why is love such a crazy roller coaster?

If you got this far i thank you very much for reading this story! :) I hope you enjoyed it and maybe your in the same-ish situation. Keep going strong no matter what these silly boys decide to do with our hearts next. :)

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