continuing because i love him

by manisha paul
(chandigarh, punjab,india)

my lover always loved me a lot. and he still does. we love to be together all the time and we do not feel like living separately. he always told me that we will be together in the future as husband and wife. and i was happy with that promise.

but suddenly last year, he told me that it will be not possible for him to be get married to me. this was his only statement...that broke me up badly. being loyal to me he told me all the things that might go wrong, one of them being that his family will not agree on us getting married. i was sad and heart broken because this was the only future i had, and i lost it.

he told me not to get him wrong and i tried not to. he asked me if i feel like leaving him then. i couldn't. then i thought it over: if i dont have a certain future with him then what good is there to continue?

i thought al ot over this; that i should leave him. but it always goes through to my mind how i would survive if he will not be with me. the main thing was he also loved me a lot; we both didn't want to get separated.

then i finally made the decision that i will continue to be with him because i can't stand the thought of living alone without him. i thought that if in future i will have to live all alone, then why not have some more memories with him now to help me to spend my rest of the life on my own?