There was this guy, and we went to school together for two years. Throughout that time, we never really talked to each other, but the summer before grade nine, we suddenly started hanging out. I thought we were friends. I thought we were best friends.
After a while, I developed a crush on him, which over the past year and a half has grown to be full-blown love. But I loved our friendship and I valued that more than any silly date, so I kept quiet. I did tell one friend, after she practically harrased me into telling her who I liked, and then she betrayed me.
She told him that I liked him.
We haven't discussed this, and I pretended that I don't know he knows, and he pretends that he doesn't know. For a while though, around 6 months, I thought he liked me back.
We would have hour long phone conversations, he was exceedingly sweet to me, always hugged me, or when we watched movies in my basement we would cuddle and he'd put his arms around me or we'd play footsies under the table at a meal. Everyone thought he liked me.
But now, suddenly, he has a girlfriend. He didn't even tell me about her. He tells me everything...usually.
So basically, he knew my feelings towards him, used that to his advantage to get cuddle-time and then turned around and kissed her, and I've never felt so betrayed and hurt. And not only did he betray me, but he didn't even bother to mention that he had a girlfriend.
I even gave him perfect opportunity, asking him "What's new?" and he said "Nothing". I just received a huge file of pictures of him kissing this girl from another friend, YET he considers it to be "nothing?"
So this is what I wish I could say to him, but will never utter in his presence because even through my broken-heartedness, I still want to be his friend:
YOU LED ME ON, THEN TURNED AROUND AND KISSED HER, BREAKING MY HEART. SO THANKS A LOT. THANKS FOR THE TEARS, THANKS FOR THE HURT, AND THANKS FOR THE MILLION TINY PIECES OF BROKEN HEART YOU LEFT ME.
THANKS A LOT, YOU JERK.
So you want a heart? You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
~ The Wizard of OzHow to back the love of your life