Don't Know What To Do Anymore..

by J
(ohio)

I'm a senior in high school, and I have been with this guy for about 8 months now. In the past, I have been hurt pretty bad, just like many other people. I've had relationships with someone who I thought was emotionally abusive to a guy that was literally everything I was looking for. Come to find out, I wasted 3 years of my life on someone who was never going to actually "like" me back...


When I started dating this new guy, I was finally happy and looking forward to doing things I normally don't like to do. I felt confident and lucky, but then after a couple months into it, I noticed that I started feeling very insecure about myself, and I never believed it was him who made me insecure because I've always had a problem with my confidence and self-esteem.

I guess some things that may have led to this feeling was when I made him cookies and he critcized me, saying things like,"eh, not bad," and when he would see that upset me he would say,"just kidding."

Another thing is that he would get mad at me for dumb things like not being able to call.
For example: my brother was getting married and I was a part of the wedding party. I had warned him the day before that I probably wasn't going to be able to talk to him that day because of all the stuff going on, being in the wedding, following the reception, and so on, and when I finally got a chance to call him, he was upset because I was "ignoring him."

Also, there's things like when we're arguing, he'll just hang up on me. I have talked to him about it, but he obviously doesn't get it. Another incident was over the past weekend, he called once, but I wasn't able to get to my phone. I called him back and many times throughout the day but got no answer. Come to find out that he was just "busy" and somehow could not pick up the phone to make one simple phone call. Well, it was around midnight and I was just getting ready to go to bed. I called him one more time and he finally answered. I asked him what was up and all he had to say was "he was busy," and I understand that, but I wasn't expecting to talk to him for 4 hours. If he was busy that's all he had to tell me. I felt so terrible. I told him how I felt about the situation and he apologized and kept saying,"i know i'm sorry."

The next day, it happened again. During all this, I couldn't help but cry. Even talking about it now upsets me. I honestly felt terrible and useless and just bad in general. Some of my friends don't like him, and others like him probably more than they do me. My friends who don't like him think it could be a form of emotional abuse, but I'm not sure. I really do like him. We have a lot of fun together when we are not fighting, and I have been doing everything I can to keep our relationship going.

I guess, all I want is to know someone else's opinion on this situation. Although, I love my friends and family who help me out and give advice, I think it would be nice to hear from someone different.

Thanks for all your help.


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Nov 08, 2010
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I understand...literally
by: Sarah

Wow...I have been in that same situation. My first relationship was with this guy for 4 months then broke up for like 3 months then got back together for another 8 months starting when I was a freshman to my sophomore year. He was very emotionally abusive. And has still affected me to this day.

I am a senior now. But I finally am able to get over it and move on I hope...not sure though...have to see when I go out with someone, because for the first 3 months I'm fine then after that I start to shut down. And it was all because of what I went through.

After him I have had 3 other relationships. The second one the guy creeped me out so it didn't last long. The third was a little longer but not much but he was too weird. And the 4th was well...pretty alright. And in that relationship I shut down and kinda ruined it. But I know now why.

And what you need to know is if he is doing this stuff now...sorry to be blunt but end it!!! Seriously. I know it is hard, but you will be glad you did. Don't get stuck in the middle of that, like I did because it will take you years to get out of it even if the relationship is long gone. It is not right for him to get mad over one phone call. He will live.

My first boyfriend did that and got mad at me for little things. And I got treated lower than dirt and took it. I was so blind. And he broke up with me both those two times and both on the phone. Weird thing was he seemed like he wanted to make me feel that way. It was right to him.

But please whatever you do...life is short and there is many guys out there...a lot more better than him just waiting for you. Go out and see for yourself...one of them will be the one I guarantee it.

And whatever you do...don't give up...don't go back into that dark shell of no return and think that your life is never the same without that guy. Because your wrong it can be so much better. He doesn't deserve you. Now go out, have fun, and enjoy your life to fullest.

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