Dont know what you got till its gone. For girls that are hurting

by Hannah
(California)

Before it begins with a boy it begins inside yourself. So, It began with me, and all my past insecurities with guys in my past leaving me. I am or was, whichever they think of me now, I am the girl that they could see a future with. The girl that's down to earth, that is still pure, someone they respect more than other girls and the girl that they could eventually fall or already be in love with. This has happened through experience and words that my guy friends have told me or acted.
Its not a series of different guys but a group of friends that I see every Sunday and Wednesday. Despite their feelings in the past they have hurt me leaving me. Not because of my actions, but because of them wanting to seek something more than friendship that I did not want,because of a hardship in their life and because I got to close. Yes i am hurt but I got through it and continued on with my life happy.
They then came back to me asking for forgiveness wanting to forget what happened like wanting to return the way things are. I forgave them individually, but to this day I am not close to them. I love one as my friend but our friendship will never be the same as long as he loves me. One of them just let me go and he didn't even know why. I don't hate him. I just hate what he did and I really hate it when I catch them both looking at me.
Even though I have forgiven them I cant forget what they did so I'm wise about my next similar situation, BUT don't hold grudges or hate the person who hurt you. Forgive them but be smart not to put yourself back in that same position to set you up for more hurt. And next, definitely don't let it affect your next relationship. Don't get to the point where you have given up on guys completely or see them all as one stereotypical way. You'll become bitter. Like I did. When you find a guy you really like, if your young like me, enjoy being young. There's no need to get emotionally connected to this person your with right now. Have fun getting to know them as friends, it will make the relationship less stressful and make it more fun to be around the person your with. It really works.