Doubts about Relationship
by Lily
Three years this month I have been with the same boy who has been lovingly sweet, kind and caring...senior high school sweethearts, looking on toward college, our relationship has matured, and strengthened. This past summer, I found the most heartbreaking photo I have ever seen: a girl, 2 years younger than me who I used to play soccer with. A girl who I used to counsel with true concern about her petty romantic woes and drama...She was topless and striking a pose beyond her years, looking up at me from my boyfriend's cellphone. We were at the beach, and I'm a queen at hiding emotions. So I waited, and at the end of the night as he left the car, I told him to delete the picture. I saw the realization in his eyes. When I got home, I waited. Hours passed. Midnight. 2 A.M. 3. I assumed this was an ultimatum. He wouldn't call, so he must have chosen this low-class girl over a deep, invested relationship. I finally called, since I thought it was over, and lashed out with the fury of every scorned woman the world has ever seen. I cursed levelly, kept my voice low, but struck through my words every icy stabbing blow I could muster. I'm a happy person, usually smiling, and I was once told that angels cry when I'm not smiling. I hoped he would. He begged so desperately for us to stay together, and I told him to prove that he wanted our relationship. We went to see a movie, and I couldn't even let him touch my hand. He repulsed me. We talked afterward, and he cried, and begged me to forgive him. I guess I did...but I know why she got to him; he liked to feel needed. Like he's helping her, then the relationship shifts. He needs to feel wanted. And today he got a text message from a girl he says he's helping with relationship problems. And I don't always trust this sweet, caring, high school sweetheart. And now I'm plagued with relationship doubts. I don't know whether we will see four years together next January. Find out for sure if someone is right for you |