emotional affairs do damage

by suszie

in 2008 my husbansd amd i had been thru a lot of trials and the tension had put a strain on our marriage. we had gotten married when i was only 15 years old and had been married 33 years that may. in july of that year we separated. my husband had recently started going to a church where the pastor was an old friend of ours. this pastor took it upon himself to make sure i was always alright. he sent me flirty text messages and always encouraged me. he made me feel good about myself and before long i was going to church there too. it wasnt long before i realized that i was developing very strong feelings for this man so i tried to go back to my old church but the man wouldnt leave me alone. he would call me sunday afternoon and tell me i was ripping his heart out. well naturally when i was already feeling crazy about him this would hurt me deeply so i would go back to his church.

after a couple of months i got him to meet me and i told him how i felt about him. he told me he loved his wife and that he was flattered but that he was very happily married. yet he was sitting in a parking lot secretly meeting with a woman that wasnt his wife. i told him i was going back to my old church but he kept saying everything was all right and that i didnt have to leave the church.

over the next few months things got really bad for me. he was constantly telling me to let my husband move back home yet he still kept sending me the flirty text, and he would let me bring him lunch to work and set in the car with me and eat. he was always hugging me and telling me he loved me and playing with my hair and snesking up behind me and putting his arms around me.

i did let my husband come home but no matter how hard i tried to break away from this man he would argue with me and keep me there. i was very weak where he was concerned so it was easier to stay than to face the pain of leaving but i hated myself for it. i found myself just going to church to see him.

on valentines day i would get text with pictures of roses with captions that said things like for you sweetie. and text that said things like im tying you to my heart so i will never lose you and he did this knowing how i felt about him.

well a while back he up and resigned from the church and moved to pastor another church and he never considered my feelings at all. it has almost destroyed me. i feel so alone and so rejected. although he said he did nothing wrong i see things a lot differently. how could he do those things knowing how i felt and not know how it was affecting me. if i even went a week or two and didnt text or call he would call or text and say things like i thought you didnt love me anymore. now am i crazy or did this man like the power he held over me.

my advice to any married person is emotional affairs are just as damaging to your well being as a physical affair. and especially for women who are emotional creatures the after affects can be be even more devastating if you have the misfortune to actually fall in love with the other person. i have discovered that my husband is a far better man than this man will ever be and thank God my husband never knew about my feelings for this man and he never will. i will devote the rest of my life making it up to him for being so easily deceived by another man. i am slowly rebuilding my life and lots of days i have to put a smile on and pretend things are great when inside i am a mess, so dont look for any kind of feelings outside of your marriage. it can be a nightmare.

Watch a video on what men need, but few women give to understand how to keep your love strong throughout the years.

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