Falling In Love with My Best Guy Friend
by Danielle Amoroso
(Brooklyn, new york)
Falling in love is supposed to be the best thing that happens in a teenage girl's life. It doesn't matter if it's the bad boy or the school jock or your best friend's big brother. But the worst thing you can do is fall for your best guy friend. That's what I did and here is my story. It doesn't have a happy ending or a sad one... it's just what life gave me. My name is Danielle, and I'm in love with my best friend.
I've known him since I was 5, and we've been friends ever since. Our parents are friends too, so like I said we grew up together. I'm seventeen now, and he is nineteen, and when he was 12, he got his first girlfriend.
At first, it didn't bother me. I was still a little girl, but then one day, I found him kissing her. That day, I knew that everything I ever knew was gone, everything had changed: I was in love...with a guy who I've known all my life. (He treats me like his sister, there is nothing worse then being treated like a sister by the guy you love, but that was what I was, so I never told a soul.)
I was an actress: I pretended that I was just his best friend and nothing more, I acted my whole life with him.
As the years passed by, he became interested in other girls, and I had to hear about it, "Jessica is sooo Hot" " Miranda too..." " We should double date." I was crying at night, and tried to forget him. I really did try to go out with other guys. I dated and had fun with them, but when they tried to kiss me, I wouldn't let them, because in my fantasy world, I wanted to give my first kiss to him, and not just some guy.
So here I am, still in love, and still trying to forget him.
I'll forgive him everything, but I'll never forgive him for not seeing that I was and am in love with him; I'll even forgive him for marrying Roberta, next year. And once again I'll be an actress, pretending to be happy, on the worse day of my life.
It's not just a physical attraction to him, I love him for every single thing he is. Every word he says, every step he takes. This is something that will never die. I have tried to stay reasonable about this, but I just can't anymore. I just can't, I'm slowly losing my mind.
I haven't seen him in over 3 years, its like everything we've ever been was blown away. It's like I'm just an old friend who has been forgotten along the way, discarded like I'm not important. I've promised myself over and over again, that I should leave this all behind me.
I have guys begging me to go out with them, but it doesn't seem fair to them, going out with someone that I have no interest in... but there is a good thing in all this mess.
I see the way he looks at me, when we have family reunions, I see his eyes on me, even though we don't talk like we used to, I still see in his eyes, oh his eyes, the joy. He still calls me Danie, and he still kisses my forehead, and I'm sure he loves me, even though he doesn't show it, but he's just not In love with me.
My story doesn't have a happy ending, or a sad one, it's just the way life goes... its the classic story...maybe God has another plan for me, or maybe he doesn't. We'll have to live our lives to see what it gives us.
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