Fight with Boyfriend
i have been living with my boyfriend for 3 months. We've known each other for 2 years before going out. Actually, we knew each other on the internet and had been talking that way for one and half year. Since we liked each other, we decided to be lover on the internet first, so I decided to come to his country and studying.
Before i came here we broke up once. but he said i could still come and stay at his place, he's not sure what would happen, so eventually i came here and we started living together. The first few weeks. it was not going well. After that, we decided to be together again. He has been nice and good boyfriend.
The only problem is he likes to chat with the girls on internet, and use the social dating websites. i have no problem about him chatting with the girls, but it seems like it's not that simple. Once i checked his laptop which i shouldn't have done and i found out he was chatting with some girls and very sweet to them, something like "i miss you i wanna huge you, i wish you were here, and please come here."
i was pretty sad. so i don't trust him anymore. and talked to him about it. his explanation is he was not sure whats gonna happen when i was here the first few weeks, so that happened before we decided to be together. but i know he lied cuz it happened after we decided to be together, so i don't feel secure with him anymore.
i just can't stop thinking he is cheating on me and chatting with girls and asking them to come here and dump me. so we always have arguments and almost broke up many times. but he was almost begging me to stay so we're still together.
i think the main problem is my school didn't start yet, so i got nothing to do every day, and no friends here. i have plenty of free time to think about these things. this monday night, we had a fight again. i was so angry and i packed all my stuff at midnight and left. he didn't stop me, just let me go.
i went to the airport just sitting there for few hours, got nowhere to go. i called him once. he sounded like he doesn't want this relationship to continue anymore. so i gave up and found a hotel to stay but few hours later he called me and wanted me back to his place to talk about it.
so i went back to his place, but we didn't talk much. he said he couldn't sleep at all and i'm important to him. but in the next morning, i found out he called me cuz my mum sent him a text message cuz she was worried about me. so basically i think he called me not because he wants me back, just cuz he was worried about me.
i asked him if he wants to try again and fix the problems. he said he wants to try but he's not sure what's gonna happen, since the problems are still there. he can't promise anything. he said we have too much problems. the relationship he wants is we both have our own life and privacy.
sounds like i paid too much attention to him. but since my school starts pretty soon, i will get new friends and get busy so maybe the things will be getting better. so he still wants to try.
now i'm really confused about this relationship and my life now. i feel like he's still gonna try just because i was begging him to be with me. it makes me feel really miserable.
should i try to make it work again? or should i just move out and try to move on get a new life? i like him a lot. but now i feel really not secure, like he said he can't promise anything and not sure what's gonna happen. so i'm so scared he is gonna try to find another girl and one day he back home tell me he likes someone else, our relationship doesn't work and dump me.
please tell me what should i do? i really need help about it. thanks!