Freshman Year Nightmare
It was my freshman year. Last year actually. And I wasn't really planning on really dating anyone, but then I started to become really close with one of my guy friends. At the time he was dating my ex best friend which was really weird for me. He was never the guy who I expected to like.
I met him in second grade in grammar school. That is where he also met my ex best friend. I really liked him then and I used to always go over to his house and stuff but after second grade, he moved on to a different school. I never expected to see him again. But, he chose to go to my high school as well.
During my freshman year of high school, I started to become really close with him even though he was dating her. Even then, I didn't like him like that. We were just friends. But, when she broke up with him, I knew he was going to get another girlfriend right away. He was just that kind of guy. I also knew that he was going to choose either me or the other girl in our group.
That's when it really hit me. I started thinking about if he asked me out and what I would say and all that kind of stuff. But, of course he asked her out. And it was fine until my friend asked me to talk to him because she didn't want to date him. I did of course because I would do anything for my friends and everything was fine. Except for the fact that after that, that girl left our group to leave only me and my guy friend.
He started to become a real player and I tried to help him and warn him and stuff. I mean he was like my best friend. But, it was too late. The worst part was that I had really started to like him a lot. We talked all the time and passed notes and just were stupid together. I had so much fun with him.
Over Christmas vacation that year, we started talking and texting literally all the time which was great. He was going to ask out my friend Zoe. When we got back to school, he asked her out and she really only went out with him because she didn't want to say no. She thought, hey, I'll give it a try. She broke up with him a week later and I was texting him that day. We were at bowling together for the school and I was being stupid and i said, "Well I am always here for you. I mean you got me for life ever since you bought me something from the vending machine this morning."
He said,"So I can date you?" And at the time, I was like going crazy because I really liked him. I dated him for a day and I know it's because his friends didn't like me.
A month later, we dated again. We were at a basketball game for the school just hanging out and we went to the cafeteria and he just kissed me and we made out. It was my first kiss and everything and my head was spinning and I finally felt right. Like I could live that moment forever.
Two days later was snowball. And everything was great. We even had a song. "My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson. And everything was wonderful. The next night, I went on my first date. That was great too. It was just wonderful.
That Monday, we broke up. We went out for less than a week. And he was going to date one of my best friends at the time, Jackie. But I made a point of not getting too upset because I still wanted to be friends. However, everything was really awkward.
We were really rocky from then on and his parents even blocked my phone number. But over the summer, I got a new phone and a new number and when school started, we had 6 classes together.
Now we talk all the time and text and were still constantly getting in trouble in class for being stupid. Part of me has never gotten over him. I've dated 4 other guys but I still just really like him. I try to convince myself that I don't love him, but part of me just knows I do.
I feel stupid to say I love someone and I haven't even dated them for a whole week. But, talking to him and being with him is just so comfortable for me and sometimes I swear I can see a sparkle in his eyes or some indication that he likes me. He is my best friend, but remembering the past that I can never forget is too overwhelming.
It's 9 months later now and every night, he still appears in my dreams. Every day, I find myself thinking about him. And every day when I look at him or when I see his name on my phone, my heart skips a beat. How to find out for sure if someone is right for you