Friends or Lovers?

by Annette
(Chesapeake,Va.USA)

Chris and I have dated for the last 4 years I was not a big love affair no marriage to be involved. I am 19 years older he is 52 I am 71. I love him with all my heart.I saw him drifting slowly.


For Valentine's I asked him what we would do, his reply was I am busy. I confronted him over the phone, after denying seeing someone else he did admit it.

On valentine day I took to his office all he had given me, it was wrapped in red paper. After 2 weeks of silence he wrote me a letter, stating he needed to be with someone his age at this point of his life.

He called me last tuesday asking for us to get togather,I said yes. He came with flowers they were lovely. I asked him why we could not stay away from each other, his reply was we are friends and lovers. I did know what to say, so ok is what I said. But now I am wondering if he is using me. I am baffled and do not know what to do. Please help.....Me.

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Apr 06, 2011
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Behavior Determines Friends or Lovers
by: Laura Love

Dear Annette,

When you want to find out how someone really feels about you, watch their behavior for the clues. Don't listen to what a person tells you because often people tell you what you want to hear. Behavior always reveals their feelings, motives and intentions.

Although you love this man with all your heart, there is no guarantee that this love will be returned. Fact of behavior #1: he did not want to spend Valentine's Day with you. Since this is day that is celebrated by lovers, this is a big giveaway.

Fact of behavior #2: He is seeing someone else. Your relationship is not exclusive. When someone loves a person, they don't date others. On top of this, he wrote you a letter stating that he needs to be with someone else.

Fact of behavior #3: Now that he has told you that he wants to be with someone else, he is playing with your heart, coming to see you, bringing flowers and confusing you: telling you that you are friends and lovers. The only problem is he wants to be your lover only when it suits him. This means you have an important decision to make: you can wait for him, hoping for stolen moments together or you can preserve your dignity, gather yourself and move on to find someone who respects you and doesn't play with your heart.

You are 71. You may decide that you are too old to let someone play with your heart or you may decide that you love the attentions of this man enough that you are willing to let him see you when he is willing. He has told you that he wants to be with someone else. His behavior confirms this. The choice is yours. If it were me, I would choose to respect myself in order to attract men into my life who would do the same.

I hope this helps.


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