Friends with benefits lovers?
by Ethan
I met a girl when I was young (4-5 years ago). We became best friends really fast. We would spend countless hours of the night talking and getting to know each other. We quickly formed a relationship that I've never had before. But I was young and stupid. I flirted with a lot of women before I met her. I cheated on her.
I cheated on her with a girl who I would later learn cheated on me. When I came back to her, she wouldn't have it. We tried to be friends again many times, but I missed the relationship we had. We fought with each other months at a time and took breaks in between. Eventually we would find ourselves in the worst fight, ever. Her friend told me to leave her alone and never come back because she wouldn't talk to me, anymore.
Six months later, we reconnected. She came back to me. Only this time, we became such good friends that we have sex with each other. She's convinced that it's just friends with benefits. I'm convinced that there's no such thing and that there's a chance we can make our relationship work. I told her that I would prove myself to her to be faithful. I would spend the rest of my life with her even if we never become bf/gf, again.
I knew what I had done. I've worked so hard to change who I was when I cheated on her. I would've done anything to have her back. I told her I would even move closer to her when I was done with college. But why did she come back? Why did she never want to see me again and then change her mind? It had to be love. So I continued with being friends with benefits.
She recently met this guy who was drunk and almost took advantage of her. I told her not to see him, anymore. I begged her to stay with me. Things were going so well. Which I believe is why she wanted to see another guy because she tells me that she doesn't deserve to have good guys like me. I blame myself for making her feel that way, but I'm trying so hard to prove to her that I am here to stay. She knows how much I love her now, not like I did back then. I'm so scared. What do I do?