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Funny Kid Quotes for People Who Love Children

Funny Kid Quotes

As that old television show went, "kids say the darndest things". Children, unlike adults, are not motivated to impress, coax, or threaten people into seeing their points of view. More often than not, they say the first things that come to mind, making every word ring with an honest and pure truth. As these seven carefully selected wise quotes from kids (including one beautiful biblical quote about them), what children say are guaranteed to come from the heart.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

- Matthew 19:14

What is the use of a book, without pictures or conversations?

-Alice, from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

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A child, however, who had no important job and could only see things as his eyes showed them to him, went up to the carriage.

"The Emperor is naked," he said.

funny kid quotes

-Excerpt from The Emperor’s New Clothes

Funny Kid Quotes

Art Linkletter: "How'd he punish Eve? He made her what?"
Kid: "A housewife."
-Quote from the 1959 TV show Kids Say the Darndest Things

Sometimes a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do.

-Tommy from The Rugrats (1991)

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Vada: I'm gonna marry Mr. Bixler.

Thomas J. Sennett: You can't marry a teacher, it's against the law.

Vada: It is not.

Thomas J. Sennett: Yes it is, 'cause then he'll give you all A's, and it won't be fair.

-Vada (Anna Chlumsky) to Thomas J (Macaulay Culkin) in the movie My Girl (1991)

Funny Kids Quotes

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what you've been doing."

-Anonymous joke

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