Funny Love Poems
On the Awkwardness of Love

Funny love poems range from bawdy to the angst of a teen's first love. Remember when the mere presence of your loved made you squirm? For men, there's a funny poem about a persistent erection. Love can evoke such a wide range of feelings, it's best to shake off the uncomfortable moments with some comedy relief.

May I Feel Said He

may if feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she

(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she

(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she

(cccome? said he
ummm said he
(you are Mine said she)

e.e. cummings

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Funny Love Poems

~Robert Graves~

Down Wanton, Down!

Down, wanton, down! Have you no shame
That at the whisper of Love's name,
Or Beauty's, presto! up you raise
Your angry head and stand at gaze?

Poor bombard-captain, sworn to reach
The ravelin and effect a breach -
Indifferent what you storm or why,
be that in the breach you die!
Love may be blind, but Love at least
Knows what is man and what mere beast;
Or Beauty wayward, but requires
More delicacy from her squires.

Tell me, my witless, whose one boast
Could be your staunchess at the post,
When were you made a man or parts
To think fine and profess the arts?

Will many-gifted Beauty come
Bowing to your bald rule of thumb,
Or Love swear loyalty to your crown?
Be gone, have done! Down, wanton, down!

Funny Love Poem

Anon

I gently touched her hand: she gave
A look that did my soul enslave;
I pressed her rebel lips in vain:
They rose up to be pressed again.
Thus happy, I no farther meant,
Than to be pleased and innocent.

On her soft breasts my hand I laid,
And a quick, light impression made:
They with a kindly warmth did glow,
And swelled and seemed to overflow.
Yet, trust me, I no farther meant,
Than to be pleased and innocent.

On her eyes my eyes did stay:
O'er her smooth limbs my hands did stray;
Each sense was ravished with delight,
And my soul stood prepared for flight.
Blame me not if at last I meant
More to be pleased than innocent.


If you have a favorite poem to share, be sure to submit it below.

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