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Funny Marriage Quotes that Will Make You Smile

Funny Marriage Quotes

The quotations on this page are designed to help you laugh at marriage and all the funny things that men and women do. It's fun to laugh at the male/female stereotypes and it also helps you to put the little nagging things your spouse does into perspective. Sometimes, the little things are not worth fighting over. Instead, just shake your head, roll your eyes and exclaim, "Men!" or "Women!" This helps lighten things up and renews your appreciation for your spouse.

In addition to the quotations highlighted on this page, you'll also find some fun gifts to send to your spouse and a program called The Us Factor that I recommend for every couple. This is an at-home program that will teach you how to keep your passion for each other strong and how to get past the sore spots that are part of every marriage. If you want a good relationship that will nourish you throughout your life, you need to work at it and learn the simple skills that will keep your love alive.

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A husband is what is left of the lover after the
nerve is extracted.

~ Helen Rowland

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which
two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to
harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years,
or until death do them join.

~ Elbert Hubbard

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Funny Marriage Quotes

The husband who wants a happy marriage should
learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

~ Groucho Marx

Do you know what it means to come home at night to
a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection,
a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house,
that's what it means.

~ Henny Youngman

funny marriage quotes When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of
many men for the inattention of one.

~ Helen Rowland

Learn how to keep your man's attention throughout your marriage
and keep your passion for each other burning strong. Simple skills
that will turn around your marriage - Read The Us Factor Review

Funny Marriage Quotes

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then
you wake up.

~ Evelyn Hendrickson

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special
person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

~ Rita Rudner

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe.

~ Jimmy Durante

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you
must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen
and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two
and take care of the bedroom bit.

~ Jerry Hall