Future Mother-in-Law Hates Me, Why?
by Julie
(KS)
My future mother-in-law hates me. I am going to explain this the best I can:
I have known my future Husband (B) for 8 years, we have been the best of friends all this time. He proposed to me on Christmas Day of last year & we moved in together in mid January. He has a 9 year old Daughter (E) whom I adore, & she seems to love me & trust me, due to the fact that she's already calling me Mom.
My problem is his mother & brother are having a hard time accepting me. They barely know me & are already making assumptions & judgments towards me. For example, his Mother (M), who keeps E during the weekdays (doesn't have custody) tries to keep B (has custody) from having his Daughter over the weekends or on non-school days because she (M) doesn't trust me.
She tells B that I'm not a good influence on E, & doesn't think that E should be around me at all. She refuses to get to know me by avoiding any chance to talk to me. When B goes to pick up his daughter, his mom requests that he comes alone, & then tries to talk him out of taking E to our apartment because I'm there.
She even made arrangements for E to go to one of her (M's) friends house over spring break, just so E wouldn't be near me. And didn't even talk to B about it. And when B said that we're going to have E for good once school is out, his mother threw a fit & refuses to have it that way.
She is trying to be Mom when she's Grandma & is trying to control B's life & how he raises E. She has the attitude that B should be alone, live with her, so she can raise E. It doesn't matter who B's with, M won't like them & wont try to (she even talks bad about me behind my back to her friends & to B).
His brother even asked B to get a vasectomy so he & I don't have children together, that hurt...& was mad because I went w/ B to his Grandmother's funeral & he refused to talk to B. There's more to it, but I'll stop here.
I feel like such an outsider, I have done nothing wrong & have been respectful to M & nice to her, but she refuses to get to know me. It really hurts. B wants to keep E away from M because he doesn't want E to be used as a Pawn by M, and until she can accept the fact that she's Grandma & not Mom, & should let go. What should I/We do?