Girlfriend with Trust Issues
My name is Rick and I have a girlfriend with trust issues. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2.5 years. I am 26, she is 22. We met on Myspace and talked for almost a year before we tried a date. We talked about common interests and what we wanted in the future.
I knew she had trust issues going into the relationship. Her boyfriend in high school, who she dated for 2 years, cheated on her after her
senior prom with her sister. I had no interest in her sister and even less, after hearing that, so this is not a problem from my end in our relationship.
I was living with mother (I came home form college to help out with business issues at her request.) Last summer, my mom became ill. We fought for months to get her to go to a doctor and when she finally did, we found that she had terminal cancer. I made it my main priority to make her comfortable and to be there for her. My girlfriend did too.
One night, I dropped my girlfriend off at her house and headed for home. A girl I know who was friends with my mom (like family) texted me and asked me what was going on with my mom because she had heard rumors. I stopped by her house
where I was greeted by her and her husband and told them them the news. I was there for about 5-10 minutes and then left.
That was the worst mistake of my life apparently. My girlfriend was at my house the next night and started looking through my phone. I was going to tell her about it, but hadn't had the chance. I was too preoccupied with helping my mother.
I promised her that nothing happened with this girl or ever would. This was around November of last year. My mom died on Christmas Eve last year.
Right after my mom's funeral, my girlfriend told me that she has trust issues with all men because she was raped, once when she was eleven and again, a couple of months before we got together.
She said I was the only one she told and I was not to tell anyone. All of a sudden that became the reason for every issue she has.
I have told her that trust is the number one issue in a relationship and if she didn't trust me, then it wouldn't work out. This just caused hysterical crying. She said that if I broke up with her, she would have no reason to live and would kill herself.
Well, living with threats of suicide is not what I am looking for in someone to get married to and raise a family with. It would always be in the back of my mind that she felt that way and would be quick to make assumptions.
Now, after everything I say I am going to do, I have to promise and swear ... literally, everything I do, whether it's going to work.... going to bed, etc. I have to promise her that is what I am really doing. It all goes back to the night that I stopped to give that girl information about my mom.
I want out of this relationship and I don't
know how to do this because I don't want to hurt her or me for that fact. I have asked other people's opinions and they say that she sounds like one of those people who say if I can't have him, no one can.
Please give me some advice. Thank you for reading this!
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