he's not for me

by amy

i've been going out with danny for 4 months and i've realized that the one i've liked from the beginning was Carlos!
ugh i hate it he makes me tingle inside when he hugs me, when he kisses my cheek i feel my lips touching his, when he talks to me i think i look like a retard just staring straight into his eyes. when he asks about how it's going with my boyfriend, it breaks my heart to tell him it's good. i can feel the words being ripped out of my chest, screaming out to him: "i love YOU!" I can't bring myself to do it, I'm afraid of rejection, I'm afraid of what friends will say, I know it shouldn't matter but it does. i'm afraid of what he'll say, will our friendship shatter into pieces because he doesn't feel the same way. how can i bring myself to break up with danny? i can't, i just can't.

I'm afraid of myself.