How to know if he's not that into me?

by Audrey

leo girl

leo girl

I've been dating a guy in a long distance relationship for over 2 months.

He's an American, 51, living overseas with his child, and I am a Chinese, 40.

At first, my guy pursued me aggressively.

He said he wanted to love me forever after our first date.

It's partly because I accompanied him to watch his child's sports event in my country.

He lost his other child son's in a car accident and himself got hospitalized for a week because of an unexpected illness. I was all there supportive to him.

After discharged from ICU, he kept sending me text messages every day. Sometime the message came in as early as 4:30am.

Things between us turned a bit cool right after our second date, when we met in a third country while he attended his child's overseas school event.

We were very close during the trip. And he asked me about "love forever" issue again. After I accepted his pursuing, however, he turned to send me text messages less and less often. And I usually became the one who initiate to call him on Skype when I didn't hear from him for days.

He doesn't call, he doesn't write me emails, and he stopped saying "forever" thing after we had an arguments over emails for a couple of days.

What we argued about is that I happened to learn that he still visited the online dating website often, where we met.

We talked about breaking up. But then I begged for his forgiveness.

I decided not to ask him again if he's seeing some other women now.

I think if he's mine, then he will. If not, then I'll let go.

However, I can't help but be haunted by the question if he's really that into me or not?

Though he still shows his passion when sending me messages sometimes. I consider it as cheap "lip service". He only sends one-line messages such as "thinking of you." But he wouldn't spend time sharing what's happening in his life with me, if I didn't ask. I can hardly learn what he's up to, and what's on his mind at all.

I try to play cool in the relationship. But it gets more and more often that I am the one who initiates contacting each other when we both are online.

He's going back to work now after taking a long break to completely recover from the surgery. I wonder how often he'll contact me.

I still hope to be with him if he really loves me as he promised.

What should I do to win his heart?

Should I act like "hard to get" for him from now on?

How to know how serious he is taking me?


Comments for How to know if he's not that into me?

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Apr 08, 2009
Answer it for yourself, you already know
by: Anonymous

You have answered your own question. Actions speak louder then words, no matter what the lips say. Do not set yourself up for a drag out heartbreak, unless you are ready for that. And if you are, do not blame him after it is said and done because he is showing you his true feelings right now.

Just guard your heart, love will come just wait. And when it comes, you won't have to guess if he's yours. A person who truly loves you, wants you to be in every aspect of his life and know his every move. Just wait and believe you deserve better.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship Advice - Ask Laura Love (aka LauraLuvv) a question.

Site Build It!


Enter Your E-mail Address
Enter Your First Name (optional)

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you Love Quotes.