I promise to always love you...but never to be with you.
by Mari
There was a girl. She laughed She talked And she never once cried. Her heart had never been broken. She was unbeatable Unbreakable Undefeated. She felt numb Because behind that smile Behind those cheerful eyes Was a girl who wanted something Someone Someone to bring life into her Because she didn’t know what life was. She wanted more What a greedy child she was… So she fell in love. That star granted her wish She was vulnerable Unpredictable Startled Wondrous Confused Oh, she loved it. She loved him She loved herself. She loved the world. First love does this to you. She thought she’d be with him forever. How naïve How wonderful How childish How useless How hopeful she was. The boy changed She was crushed She had been woken up with cold water Woken up in a strange room she wasn’t familiar in She missed his eyes She missed her heart’s flutter For her heart stayed still for a while Time didn’t make sense Before she knew it, weeks had passed She wasn’t alone, no, there was this one boy This one boy who stuck with her all the way This one boy who loved her unconditionally But the girl couldn’t think of that Where was he? He promised He said he loved her She believed him What went wrong? Is it her fault? Did she do something wrong? God knows she apologized She pathetically laid herself on the ground to be stomped on Stomped on, because he just simply didn’t care Liar. Oh he cared He just didn’t care as much She was told his eyes saddened Grew red “He doesn’t sleep” “He never talks” “Why is he so sad?” Why… She had left him She had given up Her faith Her hope Her trust Had left her Life had crushed her This is what she had wanted, right? No, this cant be love, she told herself. Love is midnight conversations Love is passionate kisses when you know everyone is watching Love is smiling at each other and knowing exactly what went right in their lives Love is dark movie theaters and whispering “I love you” Love isn’t missing him every day Crying youself to sleep Not sleeping when you run out of tears Avoiding seeing him Because you know your heart will sink when you see he isn’t looking at you It isn’t dying inside Every time he smiles Every time he laughs Every time he talks Every time he breathes It’s not that It can’t be… But it was Even when she was getting crushed Even when she was breaking She loved him She loved him so much That, if he apologized, If he came up to her, even now, even as she writes this, She’d forgive him She’d run into his arms and never let go. Because she still wants him Needs him Loves him As she sits at home, with the reciever in hand, saying her last goodbye Because another boy wants her A boy who knows her Who’ll forgive her For all her wrongs Accept her For all her rights Love her Unconditionally. Her last goodbye. He doesn’t know he’s on the other line He doesn’t know she’s been with him What he does know is that he’s messed up But that doesn’t matter This is the last goodbye This is She promised… He doesn’t know she’s crying She’s too quiet It’s too quiet They both know she still loves him But they’re pretending they don’t Maybe he still loves her But it’s not the same No, it will never be the same.. This is the last goodbye She knows it is. It has to be She promised it would be… It needs to be Because her heart can’t take it anymore It has to be fixed soon And if he can’t do it, Then she’ll just have to find someone else Someone who’s willing to wipe her tears To silence her to sleep To be patient enough To know she’s breakable… Get back the one you love |