In Love But Not Happy

Hi Laura,

I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 3 years now, (since I was 16). Sometimes I think she is the nicest person in the world, but other times, I don't think so, such as when I am going out with my friends.

I usually get mad at her every day but I don't have the heart to leave her. We have started to grow apart little by little, but we're always together.

I feel that I have wasted my high school fun days and all of my college days dating her even though she makes me happy a lot of the time.

I am a very social person and like going out. She wants to stay at home most nights.

We are not sexually active at all as I have just gotten bored and I feel bad about it and don't want to admit to it.

I love spending time with her some days, but most days I am unhappy with her always wanting to talk to me on the phone, always wanting me to come over, and getting mad at my passion for fitness. (She does not like the fact that I am going to be a personal trainer because she thinks too many girls will look at me.)

The gym is my favorite place to be and she hates it. I recently won a weight loss competition and they had my picture up on the wall and I was so excited. It took over a month for me to show her (which happened to be on my birthday). I was very sad about that but I knew she thought it would be too revealing.

Most days I really wish I had not gone out with her, because as bad as this sounds I wish I could just go out to bars and parties and have fun, just like all of my other friends but I am so scared of breaking her heart as I am in love with her, but I am not happy with her.

Some of my friends that I have known for a long time tell me to stay with her and others that I have not known a long time say I am not happy get out of the relationship.

I am scared if I let her go, I will never be able to talk to her again.

What do you think I should do?

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Sep 25, 2011
by: Anonymous

Hi your girlfriend is being very controlling which is bad for any relationship. But think have you done anything wrong to make her feel so paranoid and protective? You should be able to go to the gym why not? Every one has eyes so yes people will look at you, doesn't mean you're gonna cheat! Speak to her and tell her how u feel. Communication is the best thing for any relationship. If she still hates the fact and won't let you go then maybe consider being single. But just tell her how exactly u feel and that your not happy maybe she will understand her controlling ways and try and trust you, but you have to earn trust just remember that. Hope I've helped x

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