In love with a younger woman

by c
(san francisco)


I need some advice and hope you can help me! I am a 47-year old single Asian man, never married. I'm a great guy, loyal, devoted, serious about having a special relationship with a special woman. Just getting back into the dating game after a very long dry spell--had various reasons for that: taking care of aging parents, etc.

I started taking dance classes at a community college 8 months ago and met an amazing young Asian woman. The first time I saw her it was like being hit with a lightning bolt. I was hooked but good. Believe me, I don't easily fall for ANYONE, but she amazed me. She was very friendly toward me and I had asked her out several times. But she always politely declined, saying she had a boyfriend.

Recently, in this second term, we just so happened to take another class together. I am just so crazy about her. She gave me her email and we've been communicating in class and by email for about 2 months now. Just some friendly flirting (mostly from me) and chatting. But she won't give me her phone number because she says her boyfriend doesn't like it. I've gotten mixed signals from her, so therefore was always careful not to be too aggressive. The last time I saw her, she agreed to let me give her a ride to her work. She also invited me to have a drink and a bite to eat with her after class, which we did. Had a great chat and laughs. Gave her a hug and said goodbye. After that, I emailed her and thanked her for the time we spent together. But she still declined to give me her number and said we could just keep in touch by email.

That was about 10 days ago and I haven't communicated with her since. I'll see her in class again in about a week. What should I think about this relationship? I'm so infatuated with this young woman (she's 20 I found out, but initially I thought she was older) but she's giving me mixed signals about whether she has any interest in me at all. We talk in class and email, but that's been about it so far. Went out to eat once and gave her a ride to work. I've asked her to hang out with me sometime, but she said she can't. Does it sound like she just likes my attention, but has no romantic interest in me? I'm so lovesick and can't stand being away from her. Should I just play it cool and move on to other women? Thanks for your advice.

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Nov 13, 2009
Get a Life
by: Sexykoolaid23

There are more fish in the sea. Don't sit there and cry over this one girl. She's young let her enjoy her life and do things any 20 year old would do. I suggest you go on eHarmony or some other website to find your "soulmate." I doubt this girl was right for you because she's not even that into you. If she were, then you would already know and you wouldn't be sitting here wondering what she thinks about your relationship.

You're 47! Grow up. I know you can find someone much better and older and more mature. At her age, girls don't take things seriously. I should know.

Best of luck. I know your dream girl is out there.

Nov 13, 2009
Move On
by: Kimmy

Yes, I think you should move on because she's already used to life with her boyfriend and I doubt she wants anyone else right now.

Mar 29, 2008
move on
by: Anonymous

Yes, I think this young girl is playing around with your emotions. Seems like she is just leading you on, the ride to work, the email, the dinner, but won't give you her number. She probably does have a boyfriend and is trying to make him jealous or something. Move on, find another nice woman ... there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Mar 29, 2008
adding to my question
by: c

Did I fail to mention how I am very respectful of her, but also I don't believe in giving up on her just yet. I feel I've been waiting my whole life for someone like her and I need to be persistent. At one point in a conversation with her, she said to me that if I really, really wanted something, I could get it. She may have been referring to us, but maybe I'm just reading too much into it?

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