In love with a younger woman

by c
(san francisco)

Hi,

I need some advice and hope you can help me! I am a 47-year old single Asian man, never married. I'm a great guy, loyal, devoted, serious about having a special relationship with a special woman. Just getting back into the dating game after a very long dry spell--had various reasons for that: taking care of aging parents, etc.

I started taking dance classes at a community college 8 months ago and met an amazing young Asian woman. The first time I saw her it was like being hit with a lightning bolt. I was hooked but good. Believe me, I don't easily fall for ANYONE, but she amazed me. She was very friendly toward me and I had asked her out several times. But she always politely declined, saying she had a boyfriend.

Recently, in this second term, we just so happened to take another class together. I am just so crazy about her. She gave me her email and we've been communicating in class and by email for about 2 months now. Just some friendly flirting (mostly from me) and chatting. But she won't give me her phone number because she says her boyfriend doesn't like it. I've gotten mixed signals from her, so therefore was always careful not to be too aggressive. The last time I saw her, she agreed to let me give her a ride to her work. She also invited me to have a drink and a bite to eat with her after class, which we did. Had a great chat and laughs. Gave her a hug and said goodbye. After that, I emailed her and thanked her for the time we spent together. But she still declined to give me her number and said we could just keep in touch by email.

That was about 10 days ago and I haven't communicated with her since. I'll see her in class again in about a week. What should I think about this relationship? I'm so infatuated with this young woman (she's 20 I found out, but initially I thought she was older) but she's giving me mixed signals about whether she has any interest in me at all. We talk in class and email, but that's been about it so far. Went out to eat once and gave her a ride to work. I've asked her to hang out with me sometime, but she said she can't. Does it sound like she just likes my attention, but has no romantic interest in me? I'm so lovesick and can't stand being away from her. Should I just play it cool and move on to other women? Thanks for your advice.