J***Y it's killing me!
by claire
In class you asked questions that are so out of my league and I hated you for that and the worst thing has yet to happen! P.E class and you are one of my group mates, I just wanted you out! But I never expected to love you after hating you so much. I never knew that you were so vocal about your life, your love life, your beliefs and your attitude. It shocked the hell out of me. I admired you at first as what I feel for other girls but when we got the chance to hang out, I saw a whole different you. I admired you more out all of the others and it lasted longer, up to now. You taught me how to feel good, how to be free, how to live life at its best, to give everything and experience things you can try to do. Since that day, I wasn't able to forget about you, even for just a minute. And now, it's killing me not to see you, not to talk to you, not a glimpse coming from you because you've inspired me, one word from you makes my whole day perfect, happy, inspiring and gets me going out of my mind. The thing is, I can't love you because everybody thinks differently. I'm a girl, I'm Chinese and everybody thinks I like guys(well, I do but I also like girls). Everybody is so curious and I shouldn't let them find out because if they do, they'll judge me. I LOVE YOU!I DO! But I can't and it pains me so much. I wanted to go back time where I used to hate you so much and never really got along with you because this can't be. I can't be in love with a girl. It's kept me dying for quite sometime ,I dreamt of you and I don't want it to end but it's a big NO NO! I know you'll never like me, I just wish we can have just one more moment. Just one more to clear my mind and be able to see what I truly feel. All I know for now is that I LOVE YOU. Just wanted to tell and shout to the world what I feel because it keeps haunting me and I can't be at peace, now that I have told everything I hope you can read this SOMEDAY and you'll know it's you I'm talking about. |