Lasting Pain

Shut me out or let me in,
No matter what, I never win.
What do you know,
All you ever do is glow.
You never feel the the pain inside,
The pain I work so hard to hide.
You don't hear the scream that's there,
So don't pretend you really care.
How long should I wait,
For my life to begin before I accept it's fate?
I cut myself and watch the blood,
Flow from my body causing a flood.
For now I start to feel better,
But my face is getting wetter.
The tears run down very fast,
But the pain inside will always last.