Lessons from a Long Distance Relationship
by julia kristin
supergirl
Long distance relationship? Here's my story. I live in a small suburb 30 miles east of the city of Los Angeles. He's from San Diego, 200 miles away from me. I would say it was not that easy to keep our relationship as one, there are times "trust" is a big issue due to the distance between us. But our love for each other kept us together and sacrifices too many things to keep our relationship going on. He would come here and visit me, and as well as me too. As far as i can remember, i really thought that he was the one for me. During those times I cant even think of anyone who could do what he did for me. He's a great loving and caring guy. But distance is still our main issue. As we all grow old, we understand that everything is temporary and nothing lasts forever. Even a relationship that seems so perfect is not a promise for tomorrow. One sunny day in April, things between us were not the same anymore. Both of us were hurt, but I told myself that I had to be strong. Days and nights passed and he would call me, begging me to come back to him, but my foolish heart said no. Later on, I realized that I still needed him in my life, that I still do long for him, so I put my pride aside and asked him to come back to me. But I think he was trying to move on. One day, a call from his best friend told me that he'd been hanging out with his ex-girlfriend. I was crushed to hear the news. I couldn't stop crying and asking myself "how could he." I didn't understand why this happened to me. Days before my graduation in June, the ex-girlfriend texted me, asking me to come down to San Diego to talk to my ex boyfriend because he "still loves you" and between them was nothing, because they were just friends. Confusion and heartbreak set in and I debated whether I should go down there and take the risk. So I went to San Diego and took the risk. I saw him for the first time after we broke up in April. we had a casual talk, hugged one another, telling how much we missed each other and how he promised me we would work things out after he found a job and tried to get his car back. Then that day, I also met the ex-girlfriend because that's how nice i am, I tried to be as nice as possible and talked to her about what is really going on. I accepted the fact that they're friends again. So he went to my graduation days, but we were not back together at that time. June passed. We were okay, then summer began. It felt different, it felt weird, it wasn't the same anymore. I'd ask myself how come he's so cold now, he would only call me every other day, and still we would fight about that girl over and over again. I was in a situation and didn't know if i should hang on or just give up and move on. It felt like I was waiting for nothing. One warm July evening, he came to visit me. We had a talk and I asked him what he really wanted from me. I was so confused about our relationship status. All he said was "people change, I thought I could do this, but I'm sorry." So he left me without anything to hang on. Later on I realized that maybe he was right, distance was still a big issue. So I tried my best to pull myself out of this chaos and drama. One month before our supposed "third year anniversary," he called me, telling me that I should move on because he's been dating. Ouch! I asked him who was the girl, then he told me it was his ex-girlfriend, that they got back together. My world just froze. I pretended I was okay while talking to him, but I was dying inside, hurt and crushed. Now it made sense, now I got it why he's been cold to me the whole summer. I'm just sad to say that some people will trade this thing called "love" just for something easy and convenient. I know he deserves to be happy, so I guess he found what he'd been looking for since she's near him and I'm so damm far away from him. What can I say? What can I do? Nothing really.. all is there for me to do is completely set him free and let him go. In the end, I thanked him for telling me the truth because it helped me to move on. Today, I'm glad that this thing happened to me even though it caused me a lot of drama because it only made me a stronger person and me realize how love can make you and break you. As for my first question, love teaches us how to deal with things in these situations. Love is not about feelings or emotions. Love is an action, a verb. It's something we have to give and do. I am free, I am happy with what I have and don't have. I am still single and loving it. All this made me love myself more. God helped me get through this chapter of my life. I am not rushing anymore because I know the right one will come along. |
