Long Distance Relationship

by Jen

My ex and I were together for two and a half years. (We have been long distance for about a year and a half.)


January of 2008 his ex girlfriend emailed him and they started communicating. They live in the same city. He never opened up to me about his past relationship with her at all.

Well, I had an abortion last June. This was a little over a month after finding out that the two of them were communicating, and seeing each other rarely or so I've been told.

About 4 or 5 months ago, he told me that he still had feelings for her, but he was not pursuing a relationship with her and that it wasn't fair to commit to being in a relationship with me because of those feelings.

He has also told me that he sees a future with me and all he needs is time to work through these feelings and to find a working relationship with her. She also got engaged in December to someone else.

I have already told him that I need some space. My heart has just been breaking for almost a year now. Any advice?

Comments for Long Distance Relationship

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Apr 25, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Good advice is a second mother to a child.
by: Bright

That word abortion makes me believe that the guy in question is not yours. If you really want to be happy in life, ask for forgiveness from God. If not, after this, forget that dude. Good advice is a second mother to a child.

Mar 18, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Take care of yourself
by: Latrice

Love yourself. Let go if the Lord has this in mind for u. U will reunite if not let yourself heal and wait for that man that is not confused and know what he wants and who. I've had a abortion too although I was relived to not have the child. I was hurt at what that child could have and would have been. Heal take care of yourself. You told him that u needed space and that is true. Sometimes being alone is lonely yet it gives u time to see yourself and figure out what u really want. you cannot do that with drama and distractions and trying to figure out what he want. Take care of yourself baby girl and be blessed. Take it from someone that been where u are.

Mar 16, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Long Distance Love
by: Desi

Hey,
I am in the same situation. My boyfriend and I are still together even though he is 2 hours away from me. I am starting to feel that spark fading because I cannot see him and barely catch him on the phone. The only advice I can give is that if you two are meant to be together, fate will bring you back together. I wish the best for you, sweetheart.

Mar 14, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Matters of the heart are always worth the risk
by: Anonymous

Dump him. There are so many fish in the sea!

Mar 14, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Long Distance relay
by: Anonymous

Have you informed the father ( your would have been baby daddy) about the Abortion?
If not, than you need Forgiveness, from God. Most Importantly! you need to forgive yourself and ask your would be sweetheart to forgive you.
I am not one to judge, but who else will be honest and courageous enough to tell you that FORGIVENESS! Is the single most important factor here.

Do you know the devastating effects ABORTION has on a relationship? Or the after effects of your well being, let alone what has happened to the Baby(fetus).

Whatever you decide remember that without forgiveness you can never have a fulfilling relationship w/or w/o this guy, whether it is local or long distance.
Peace & Blessings

Mar 13, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
hey
by: Anonymous

i think that whatever your heart says is right. if you think that leaving this guy is what is best for you...THEN DO IT! if you feel that you want to stay with him and see where it goes, that's chill to! Personally, I would kick back see what he does and date around. As for the abortion, I'm so sorry. I'm sure you're going through hell. You shouldn't have to be going through this alone if he was the baby's father. Try being friends with him more then anything.. it might help.

Mar 13, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
long distance love
by: debi

I too have been in your shoes. When we are feeling are those "love" feelings we almost feel sick with ourselves over them. I have learned the hard way that it was a complete waste of my time, my energy, my love & devotion. I was so much in love with him & he would tell me the same but I always had this lingering doubt inside of me. I would wait for his calls - if he didnt call I'd be crazy upset. I can only tell you 2 things: time helps you heal and #2 finding someone else to give that love you have to will help. Once you fall in love & are loved back (the right way) you'll realize what a mistake & waste of "you" he was. Go on... there will be times when you'll hurt for him but as you love another you will slowly leave that love behind. Good luck.

Mar 13, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Long Distant Relationships...
by: DIMPLES

I'm in the U.S. and I'm totally in love with an Aussie. We met online and have been talking for 4 years now. I'll be in Brisbane, Australia soon. Hope to be with him forever!

Mar 13, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Move On
by: Anonymous

Long distance relationships rarely work. If he really loves you then he will work out a way to be with you and not his ex. Move on though because if he really loved you, he would have ignored that email from his ex. Instead, he decided to play a little game.


Mar 13, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstar
Wishy washie? More like scared.
by: Pavingmomma

From my reading of your summary, you are more than a bootie call but less than a girlfriend - you are more of a safety net for this guy. He is more comfortable looking backwards at "her" then he is looking forward, or in any direction with you. He wants the girl HE WANTED HER TO BE, not the warm,real person YOU are. She won't get back together with him because she knows this; she just likes the feeling of sharing memories and having someone chase after her. Face the truth, don't make up excuses for him or stories that "explain his feelings". ACTIONS speak the truth. Grow up and leave fairytale land. Get strong, be smart, and take better care of yourself (including using better birth control)!

Mar 12, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Move On
by: Anonymous

Forget it and move on! Whats with all the wishy washy stuff? You don't need that. I put up with that for 7 years and all it did was get me alone! There is someone out there who will know they want you and only you. Find them!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship Advice - Ask Laura Love (aka LauraLuvv) a question.

Site Build It!

ad

Enter Your E-mail Address
Enter Your First Name (optional)
Then

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you Love Quotes.