Love and Hurt and Hate

by Paige
(Brisbane)

I met a guy at school who seemed really nice. A few weeks passed, and we started talking more and more, then he told me that he liked me. I told him I felt the same way.

He gave me his number and told me I had to call him and we'd go out sometime. We went on school holidays and I tried calling him so we could hang out, but he was always busy and I started to feel like he was blowing me off, so I asked him if he still felt the way he used to feel about me and he said, "Yeah, I like you a lot. It's just that i didn't want to rush into anything and lose what we already have.

I believed him and then just as I started to feel like there was something there, I get a phone call from one of his mates, telling me that he has a girlfriend and they have been together for ages.

At that moment, my heart shattered into a million pieces. How could he do this to me? I told him I was scared to love him and I didn't want to feel the pain of being hurt. He promised he wouldn't hurt me, but he lied and he hurt me a lot and he is still hurting me.

I want to let go of him, but I can't because he makes it so hard. He still always talks to me, saying he wants to hook up with me behind his girlfriend's back. He wants me to be the chick on the side.

At one point, I thought about doing it but then I took a few steps back and realized that i would get nothing out of it except more pain and I didn't need any more of that.

Yes, I still love him, but in a way I hate him. He has hurt me so much and I didn't think he realizes that it's so hard to explain the way I feel. Let's just say there ain't a day that goes by that I don't think about him.

How to really get to know the person you are dating