Love and the Caste System in India

by ritika
(Amritsar, Punjab, India)




Love and the Caste System in India

Hey Laura,

My problem is that I have been in relationship with a guy for the last 2 and half years. We met through Orkut and then we meet in reality. We fell for each other and have been continuing with each since that time.

This year, when I spoke to him about talking to his parents, he answered me that he had a word with his parents, but his parents are not ready because of the caste issue in India.

Since I am not a Gujurati and of their caste to maintain their status in society they won't let us marry. He accepted their decision and told me to forget him as his parents are fixing his engagement with some other girl of their caste.

Five months later, he told me that he is no longer engaged and is single. I asked him whether his parents would agree to our relationship this time, to which his answer was "No," but he still wants me to be his friend.

I don't know what to do. Should I move ahead in life or to wait for him so that he can find some courage or way to talk to his parents. At times it feels he doesn't want our relationship because his parents are not ready but still he needs that.

Can you please help me to know how I can get to know what is exactly going on in his mind, as he himself is not very clear as to what he wants to do?

Is it possible to be his friend after having loved him so much and imagining that we were going to be together for rest of our lives?

Comments for Love and the Caste System in India

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Mar 29, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES NEW
by: AJIT SONWANE PUNE INDIA

Its my kind suggestion to u that make sure you both are really in love with each other or it is only one sided.Because if your love is true then no any single obstacle will be there,though it is caste,religion or anything else. You just try to find whether your lover is loving to u truly or not.If it is find that truly then don't worry everything will be OK.You just try to fill the love to him.Because love is that kind of feeling which no one defines trough any book or any philosopher,whereas it has to be fill to each other.
Wish you all the best and best of luck.

Aug 20, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
its fact NEW
by: Anonymous

caste problem in is love affairs in in India only seem unilateral either from girl' side or from boy's side. but one thing is most common that it is generally from upper caste side . so i suggest love with lover if u have so.

Apr 22, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
anti casteist NEW
by: Anonymous

First love the girl or boy who believes humanity... Tell her truth that you belongs to this caste if she or he tells caste is no matter than countinue with the relationship.... After if something comes with caste I can say Fuck to that relationship and live your life happily..... Even I faced the same problem... I loved a girl she is upper cast and I am a lower cast in status I am more rich than her... I told each and everything clearly... Initially she was so happy with my love and we did all those things that can lovers do... Suddenly she talks about the caste and asked me to leave... I said okay go and one day u will come back to me and she told me u people should not marry our caste girl.. I was so disappointed by her words and seilently I said good luck to your life and be happy... And I challenged her that I will get marry to her caste girl only and I did that... After 1year she came and told me I love you dear... My husband is torturing me I want to live with u plz take me with you.. I said sorry dear I can't already I married a girl who believes humanity not Castisum....and she belongs to your cast only

Mar 26, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
He is a cheat!!!!
by: Anonymous

He's playing with u... U carry on with your life.. Don't give that guy any chance and just maintain only hi/hello with him

Dec 06, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
...
by: cj

This is something like what has happened to me.We also met from orkut. At first we were friends and she fell in love with me. We are from different parts of the country and different castes. She said we cannot be together cuz her parents wont allow and also she is too young.So now i'm just friends with her but hoping she will understand and come back to me....

Apr 07, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Love and Caste
by: Anonymous

Love and Caste

I personally would not wait for a person for forever. It seems like to me that maybe he may not accept the possibility of you two getting married just as much as his parents. I think that if I were in that kind of position or his position I wouldn't care about the way that my parents feel about my getting married.

If I loved somebody and had a great opportunity to be with them for the rest of my life, I would definitely take it despite what anyone else thinks.

That's love to me.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship Advice - Ask Laura Love (aka LauraLuvv) a question.

Site Build It!

ad

Enter Your E-mail Address
Enter Your First Name (optional)
Then

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you Love Quotes.