Love Doesn't Pay the Bills

I dated a wonderful guy for 9 months, unfortunately we broke up. I decided to break things off because I felt like a burden in his life since he was working all the time trying to make ends meet, which I completely understood because he is an independent young man.


I felt like a weight because every time he had a day off, I felt like he was doing me a favor of seeing me instead of him actually doing it just because he WANTED to.

We had a great relationship, we got along quite well, rarely fought, it was a healthy relationship per se. I wish I had bad thoughts about this young man, but I don't and it's very hard to forget him due to all the memories we built together.

I haven't spoken to him for awhile now, the last time I spoke to him he said that he needed to get things straight and as well for me and that I hadn't lost him and he was still there. I haven't spoken to him since.

Not so long ago, I spoke to his best friend and he informed me that he still cared, but he specifically said, "Love doesn't pay the bills."
I'm pretty much appalled by this. I don't know how take this really. Any advice?

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Jul 19, 2010
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by: Anonymous

I did talk to him about how I felt and that's when we broke up. I did see changes, how he was always tired and that's why I said I felt like a burden in his life, him trying to balance work and me looked hard for him.

I did talk to him 2 weeks ago and he said he needed to get things straight and that I hadn't lost him.

I haven't heard from him ever since.
What I always wonder, what is there to work on his life? like he's just working to pay off his bills. What's so hard about balancing things out? Is he going to do the same thing with his next girlfriend?

I'm so confused.

Jul 17, 2010
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Love Don't Pay The Bills
by: Penny

He did not have to come if he didn't want to, no one held a guy to this head.

Did you talk to him about how you felt? Do you think you were sensing some underlying changes in him?

Jul 16, 2010
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by: Anonymous

We didn't live together, in fact we lived 20 minutes away from each other. During the last month that we were together, the three times I saw him during that month, he paid for everything but small things. Before, we used to take turns.

It wouldn't bother me when he used to see me on his days off, it just felt like he wasn't visiting because he wanted to, but rather to do me a favor.

Jul 16, 2010
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Love Don't Pay The Bills
by: Penny

I do have three questions...(1) Did the two of you live together? (2) Did you work and contribute half to the household expenses? (3) If you lived apart, did you offer or help pay for things you two did as a couple?

All I'm getting is he had to work in order to pay the bills. I don't understand why it would bother you for him to spend his off days/time with you.


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