I know exactly how you feel. I've been through those feelings so many times and I hated them. I hated me. I hated my life.
I've tried to commit suicide, but never went through with it. I've been to hospitals and taken medicine that doctors gave me for depression.
I've cut myself a lot in my life and it hurt very much, but not as much as I did. All I ever wanted was for someone to tell me that they loved me. This is why I am writing you...I am writing to say I love you. (I am not a lesbian though.)
I don't know who you are or where or how you live, but I love you very much.
Never let people put you down or resort to suicide. Like people say, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger." That's the truth.