Love is Complicated

by L.C
(san franciso,CA,)

Love is Complicated


Before I can ask my question, I think that I should break down the whole situation first.

I had a wonderful girlfriend last year. She was great and out of everyone I've been with I never felt this way about someone. She's the type of person who you pretty much know you'll always love deep down no matter or who you're with later in the future.

Anyway, she was a good influence in my life because after we broke up, I've grown mentally. After the breakup, we weren't on good terms at all, but after it all, we're now able to communicate fine and I consider her to be one of my best friends since she's someone who knows me best.

The thing is though she's now dating my best friend and my best friend hid the fact that they were actually having a thing because they were scared of my reaction. I was shocked at first, but I learned to just let it be because I saw that they made each other happy.

A couple of weeks ago though when my ex and I hung out, we both just felt something and we both knew what was going on. It's not like she cheated on my best friend though, it's just that time being spent together felt so good and it reminded me how happy I was when I was with her.

It made me realize even more how much I do still love my ex. So it's hard but I even had the nuts to tell my best friend that my feelings for my ex are solid although it was the hardest thing ever.

I honestly don't know what to do and it still bugs me because I'm sure that she still has feelings for me and she knows I do for her too. But the thing is I'd rather see my best friend happy than myself. But I really don't know where to take it from here. What do you think?


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Oct 15, 2015
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Love is Complicated NEW
by: Anonymous


We're a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your website provided us with valuable information to work on. You've done a formidable job and our entire community will be thankful to you.



Alex

Feb 03, 2011
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think about it
by: LAdy

you know if i were you let them to be happy. because if you really love that girl before you never left her.
now that she's happy with someone else set her free its too late for you to regret. find your new one really deserves you :)

Jan 09, 2011
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my simple comment
by: Anonymous

love is so complicated. You should have to show your real feelings to your ex. Show to her that you still love and care for her.

Apr 25, 2010
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love is complicated
by: D.D.

I am in a similar relationship, so the games people play with those who love them can be very cruel and hurtful. You need to know what her true feelings for you are. She is totally confused. Find out where you stand, then either be a friend and let her go or be her true love and explain to your best friend how she and you feel about each other if she is truly in love with you.

Otherwise, you will be the one left without a best friend and a girlfriend because it WILL all blow up in your face sooner or later. Only you can stop any games and heartache from happening. You will have pain but you will overcome it much easier if you can do this and you will be better off afterwards!

Mar 23, 2010
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complicated yet simple
by: Anonymous

Okay this made me laugh because, my situation is somewhat similar but not quite the same: it's complicated yet simple. I am really good friends with my ex and his best friend, but have recently become really close and maybe even fallen for his best friend. The feelings happen to be mutual but we haven't pursued them in the sense of telling other people for the sake of friendship.

Now I have also recently found out that my ex still has feelings for me to make it even more complicated, and I still like him.
In my case though, for the sake of friendship and to keep things from blowing up in all of our faces, I am just counting my losses and letting them both go.

Mar 14, 2010
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Love Triangles Never Work
by: Saf Taneski

Love Triangles Never Work

My concern is that your ex-girlfriend is bouncing from one person to another to help fix what needs repairing in her current relationship.

Her behaviour proves that she is very confused and unhappy. I wonder if she has thought about learning effective communication skills and problem solving strategies, which will prevent further complications to her relationship.

Your ex-girlfriend is risking the relationship she shares with her current partner and the friendship she shares with you. Your ex-girlfriend must take responsibility for her behaviour and the consequences involved.

A third person may have a quick fix for a temporary moment, but everything needs to be balanced in order for a relationship to be healthy.

Your love triangle will soon crash and burn, because it will become exhausting and stressful for all of you.

Your ex-girlfriend needs to work on all the issues adding complications to each of her relationships, because those issues will not disappear, they will resurface. She needs to face up to them and work at improving them, she can't keep distancing herself between two men, it is unfair for everyone equally involved.

Good luck and take care.

Mar 06, 2010
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Truly True
by: Brittany

I'm sort of in the same hole as you right about now, but if your feelings are truly true for her you should go get her. In the girls place, they are more likely to wait for the guy to get some balls to speak up. They don't want to seem stupid and come running back. It makes us feel...like we aren't strong enough.

Go get her though and if she doesn't feel it happening, let her go and if her feelings are true, she will come to you.

Feb 21, 2010
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Solution
by: Anonymous

Firstly, you need to let your best friend know how you feel about your ex. See what he says. Then ask your ex if she feels the same way about you because although you say you feel she does, it may just be a mind game. She does sound like she can't make her mind up and that is also unfair on you.

You can't hang on a string for her, she must be able to tell you that she wants to be with you and only you, and if not then she isn't worth it and she is just immature.

Aug 18, 2009
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Love is Complicated
by: Anonymous

Life is never easy, but the truth is yes, we talk to our exes, but I would never want my man always hanging out with his ex when he is with me. If he still wants to be with her, he should go.

I think what you need to do is talk to her and ask her if she wants to be with you, but the way I see it, she is undecided.

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