Love Suicide
by Lakken
I have to get rid of this pain somehow. So I take a razor blade, place it on my wrist; slowly glide it all the way across. I start to see the warm red blood arise from my skin. I instantly feel relief, but it’s not enough. I do it again and again, but I can’t release all the pain inside of me. How do I get rid of this pain that is taking over me? I take the blade once more. I apply great pressure and drag the blade from my wrist, all the way up to my elbow. Blood starts to gush from arm onto the bathroom floor. I realize I’ve made a mistake. I try to stop the bleeding with a towel, but the blood soaks right through. The cut is too deep. I’m getting weaker and weaker every second. All I wanted was you. To love you like no one else could. I wanted you to love me and only me. Was that too much to ask? But it doesn’t matter now. I’m gone for good. I’m never coming back. I’ve finally escaped all the pain I felt inside of me. I’m free. Now you’re left here, hurting like never before, wishing you could have stopped me, saved me, rescued me from such a tragedy. It’s too late now. There’s nothing you can do. I’m gone without even a goodbye. Just a little note that read, “Not having you was something I couldn’t handle. I had to find a way out. I’m sorry it had to be this way, but never forget I loved you with all of my heart and I will always love you. Be strong, and don’t worry about me. I’ll be in a place where I no longer hurt. I feel no pain or suffering. I’m never far away. I’ll always be right in your heart.” She reads the note and drops to her knees. She didn’t realize the pain she was putting me through. She cries and cries till she’s simply out of tears. Now she’s numb and is unsure of what to do from here on. She stares at her phone, hoping I’ll call but I never do. Months pass by and she still stares at her phone hoping I’ll call but still I never do. As much as it hurts her she finally realizes that I’m gone and I’m never coming back. She tries to be strong and carry on with her life, but everything she sees, everything she hears, everything she does, all reminds her of me. She can’t take the burden of knowing I took my life because of her. She can’t take it. She isn’t strong enough. The pain she’s feeling is unbearable and is tearing her apart. She cries everyday and every night. It’s too much for her to handle. She decides there is only one way out. She locks herself in the bathroom and finds the sharpest blade possible. She places it on her wrist and she slides the blade across it with a tremendous amount of force. Blood starts to pour out of her. She’s getting extremely weak and thinks this is the end for her. Just as she is about to black out, she sees something. She looks down at her wrist and is shocked to see that it has stopped bleeding. She sees an angel, but not just any angel. It was me. I wasn’t going to let her take her life over me. I love her too much to watch her kill herself. I tell her “This isn’t the end for you. Live your life and be happy. I’m never too far away. Just look into your heart. I’ll always be right there.” Now she’s left with a scar that everybody wonders about. Only she knows what’s behind it. Every time she looks at it she goes back to that day. The day that she should have died. It saddens her but at the same time makes her grateful that somebody loved her enough to save her life. Now she realizes that she loved me all along, but it’s a little too late. She regrets so many things but she tries to live her life to the fullest, knowing that one she’ll be with me again. Knowing that makes her strive to be the best she can. It makes her appreciate each day she has because she knows I didn’t get to live my life. She wants to live again. |