Love Triangle: Which One to Choose

by Confused
(SanBernardino CA)

Love Triangle: Which One to Choose


I am torn between two guys and I don't know what to do. I was still seeing my ex boyfriend when I started talking to my current boyfriend. I was head over heels in love with my ex and still am but I felt that the feeling wasn't mutual. It got to the point that I was always sad due to the lack of emotions.

When my current boyfriend approached me and made me realize I deserved more, I decided to stop chasing my ex, always hoping that he would be the one to start calling. (That was about a year ago.)

About one month into my relationship with my current boyfriend, I found out that I was pregnant and knowing that there was a chance it could have been my ex's, I let both of them know.

My current boyfriend was so excited that he did not care whether or not the baby was his he said he will raise it as his own. When I let my ex know that there was a possibility and asked what he wanted to do, he was lost for words. All that came out of his mouth was, "It's up to you." I let him know what my current boyfriend said and he at first said that he wanted to know if it was his.

That was the last time we talked. We would see each other in the streets and both dodged each other. I did it because I didn't want my emotions to surface again. I assumed he did it because he didn't want anything to do with me and the baby.

My current boyfriend was there throughout the whole pregnancy, so naturally, when I had my son, I gave him his last name. When my son was three months old, my ex and I ran into each other at a friend's house and I had the baby and he couldn't take his eyes off him. We ended up talking and crying and both of our true feelings emerged. He wants to do a DNA test which is what we had agreed on the last time we spoke.

The test should be here in a few days, but now I am so confused and don't know which path to take. Obviously, if the test comes back negative, I am going to stay with my current boyfriend, but if it comes back positive, I don't know what to do. The part that is eating me up inside is that my current boyfriend is incarcerated right now, so he has no clue what is going on and I don't know how to break it to him. Please help.

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Dec 09, 2009
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Thank You
by: Anonymous

I just wanted to thank everyone who left advice on this situation. I have the results back and my current boyfriend is the father. Since being in this situation, I have decided to take time of from my personal relationship and start a new one with our Heavenly Father. Through him, all things are possible and I look forward to the road ahead.

Again, thank you.

Nov 06, 2009
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think about the child
by: Anonymous

I think the other two comments left are right on key. I just wanted to add one thing. Now that you have brought a life into this world, you must think about what is best for that child! Be that a father that shows unconditional love or one that as of right now, may love the child.... You know what is best, now you have to do the right thing by that child!

Nov 05, 2009
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Love Triangle: The Choice Between Two Men
by: Laura Love

Love Triangle: The Choice Between Two Men

You are in a fine mess because you can't seem to get over a man who you continue to pine for, even though you admit that you don't think that he's that into you.

While your ex boyfriend couldn't take his eyes off your child when you happened to run into him at a friend's house, this may just be a momentary crush because he sees his own reflection in the baby's eyes. Although he may have shown some interest in the child, this does not mean that he will be a good father to your child. It certainly sounds like he doesn't give you what you really need in a love relationship.

Your current boyfriend is right: you deserve more and so does your child. Although it concerns me that your current boyfriend is incarcerated, he has stood by you and is excited about being a father to this child. The choice to me seems obvious.

My advice: no matter what your child's paternity, stick by the boyfriend who is man enough to stick beside you and your child even when he knows the child may not be his. If your current boyfriend is the father of the child, move on with your life and leave your ex where he belongs: in the past.

If your ex is the father of the child, then you will have to discuss whether he is going to be a part of the child's life. If he does, this doesn't mean that you have to be with him, especially when you have a boyfriend who is more than willing to take care of you and be a good father to this child.

Nov 05, 2009
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Which One to choose
by: Penny

If the test comes back positive, you and your ex will want to talk about how he/both of you want things to be. ALTHOUGH REMEMBER...

(1). You stated the reason you allowed your current boyfriend in your life to begin with was because you felt your ex's feelings for you were not mutual and that left you feeling sad.

(2). Your ex told you it was up to you what you did with the pregnancy and he didn't want anything to do with you before and while you were carrying the child, he dodged you.

(3). It was your current boyfriend that made you realize/understand that you deserved better than the way your ex had been treating you. Furthermore, it was him that helped you stop chasing your ex and was there throughout out your pregnancy.

PLEASE don't treat your current boyfriend like your ex treated you before and during your pregnancy. It didn't matter to him who the child's father turn out to be. He Loves You and The Child!

Take some time to think about what's behind your ex's new found feelings. I understand he may turn out to be your child's father, but a baby can't make a person fall in love with the child's mother. Is it the child he cares and loves or both of you? Will his feelings last for you?

THINK ABOUT THIS, THINK ABOUT THIS, THINK ABOUT THIS AND TALK WITH OLDER PEOPLE BEFORE YOU DO ANY THING.

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