Lying, Cheating Boyfriend

by Starr
(Michigan)

I have this lying, cheating boyfriend, who my friends tell me to leave, but I just keep on believing him. What is wrong with me?

When we were first together, one of his friends said, "Why are you sticking up for Mike when he is telling everyone that you are fat, but have money." I have heard Mike say these same things about another girl who he dated.

He emailed his ex girlfriend on my birthday using my computer at my parent's home, while we were here visiting. He didn't get me a card or present for my birthday, nor did he recognize my birthday at all. Our first Christmas together, he kept telling me what he wanted for Christmas and also what his son would like.

He kept telling me, "I have to go out and get you a few more things." Many times he said this to me.

My son and his friend were visiting us for Christmas the year I speak of, we were invited to Mike's (my boyfriend's parents) for Christmas dinner.

On Christmas Eve, I got up in the middle of the night and stuffed stockings. As I was stuffing the stockings, I couldn't help but look under the tree as I was excited for Christmas and presents. There were no presents under the tree for me. I woke up again at about 6 am and again, nothing.

My boyfriend's son, woke him up. "Dad wake up, it's Christmas, let's open presents." They proceeded into the living Room, and started opening their gifts. Mike kept coming into the bedroom, "Hey, aren't you going to come out and open presents?" I just said, "No, I'm not feeling well," as I laid in bed and cried quietly.

He kept coming into the room showing me every time he opened something up from me, and said how cool it was.

After they were all done, he said, "There is something special out here for you. Come open your presents." So I went out to the living room and he handed me a card and sat next to me. I opened the card and it was for a massage, he pointed to the one for couples and said, "I thought we could both go for the couple one."
(The gift was for him, not me.) I thanked him as though my feelings were not hurt.

I started to clean up the mess of wrappers all over and he then said to me, "Andrew and I have to get ready to go to my parents." I said, "What time are we leaving?" He said, "Oh, you guys can't come, there isn't enough food."

So my son, his friend, and I had no Christmas Dinner preparation.
My son and his friend went to see if there were any stores open to buy some food, but not much was open. Need I say more, about this.

The relationship proceeded to get worse. I found out he was using drugs, cocaine and smoking a lot of weed.
I tried to get away from him, but he was hitting me and I was afraid.
Most recently, he emailed his dad and said "The job market all over the country seems to be improving. When we can secure good positions we will be moving on."

What does this mean?

He has told his friends that he was leaving me a number of times. He tells his friends lies about me that aren't true.

Every time he is planning on leaving me something happens to him financially to keep him from going.

He never lets me know that he is planning on leaving. He only tells his friends and family. He even told our landlord that he would be moving out when we returned, but didn't tell me. The landlord called me and told me this, and Mike said he never said that.

He lies so much, then his family says that I'm insecure and that I have problems with emotions. What the heck?

This is so messed up. I love him and feel lost without him, even when logically I know that I would be better off without him and all his lies.

What does it mean when he says, "Anyway, the job market all over the country seems to be improving. When we can secure good positions, we will be moving on" to his dad?